Back to Basics
by Bounemr
Summary: Alya's plans to get Marinette and Adrien together backfire when Marinette unexpectedly fails to show up. But that's okay, Adrien's good company after all. She's having a blast, but unfortunately for Marinette and Nino, they left Alya and Adrien alone together one time too many.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm going to do it!" Marinette said. Alya chuckled at how her face scrunched up with determination. "This time for sure!"

Alya shook her head. She debated offering to just tell him herself – and finally get the whole situation over with one way or another – but she had to admit that if Marinette couldn't even go up and tell Adrien what was what, it didn't really matter how he responded. _If she can't keep it together, they wouldn't get anywhere even if he is interested._ "Definitely, girl." She said, hooking her arm around Marinette's shoulders. "You got this."

The two eyed their quarry, Adrien, across the courtyard, talking to Nino. "I've got this!" Marinette repeated. "I've definitely got this!"

"Mhmm." Alya said, fighting her snicker. "And what are you going to do when you walk over there? Is this a 'I love you' or a 'Will you go out with me' kind of scenario?"

Marinette floundered and covered her face. "Oh, no, I didn't think about that!"

Alya patted her back sympathetically. "Try asking him to the zoo. Lots of time to talk, my dad gets your money…" Luckily, that broke Marinette out of her tension enough to make her laugh. "Besides, I'm going to need to be there as back up and Dad's been telling me that Dinah misses me."

Marinette raised her eyebrows. "Dinah?"

"Remember the panther Kim was making fun of that got Dad akumatized?"

"She's named Dinah?"

Alya shrugged. "Two birds. You get a date with Adrien and I have an excuse to check up on my favorite kitty."

"Pfft. Don't let Chat Noir hear you say that."

"Oh, what's he going to do? Come on, Adrien's going to leave any second! Go ask him!"

"Alright! Alright! I'll do it!" Marinette jumped out towards him, shuffling over to intercept him before he could leave the school.

Alya followed along, sharing a knowing look with Nino as Adrien greeted them. "Hey Marinette." He said. "Hey Alya. Any plans for the weekend?"

Marinette muttered some incomprehensible gibberish, so Alya grinned and threw an arm over Marinette's shoulder. "Not yet! Though, Marinette had a great idea she was meaning to ask you about. Didn't you, Marinette?"

Adrien chuckled. "Really?"

Marinette nodded. Her face was beet-red, but Alya could feel her shoulders move as she took a deep breath. "Want to zoo to the go with me? I mean- go to the zoo. Tomorrow." She covered her face. Alya patted her shoulder before an audible shriek could escape.

Adrien tilted his head. "I… should be free tomorrow! Sure, I'd love to go to the zoo. Who all is going?"

Marinette turned into Alya, who just shook her head with a sigh. _We've been through this, Alya. You can't ask him out for her – even just correcting an error. It's got to be her._

 _But lord. These kids._

 _Ah, well. I can just bribe Nino into bailing last minute._ "Just us!" Alya said with a grin. "You two down for a double date?"

Adrien hesitated at that, and Alya smirked when a hint of pink dusted his cheeks. " _Date_?" He asked. He chuckled uncomfortably.

"Yeah. Me and Marinette, and you and Nino. What did you think I meant?" She turned a little so that she could lean close to Adrien without disrupting Marinette too much. "Hmm?"

"Ah, nothing!" He held his hands up placatingly. "What do you think, Nino?"

"Sure, I'm down." Nino shrugged, though Alya caught his suspicious look. She communicated as best she could through eye contact alone, but they'd been through that song and dance so many times she didn't think she even needed to try. No doubt Nino had caught on just from Marinette's somewhat successful attempt to ask. Because not _everyone_ was as observant as a rusty lamppost. "I'll have to check my schedule, though. Get back to you on that."

"Oh, I see." Adrien said, looking a tiny bit disappointed.

"We're going either way." Alya said. "Dad keeps bugging me to visit the panther. We'll make do even if your date can't make it, Adrien." _If he only knew._

"Oh, well, sure! I'll definitely come if I can!"

"Awesome!" Alya said. "You know, I almost hope Nino can't come."

"She says," Nino said, "as if I am not standing right here."

Alya grinned and leaned close to Adrien. "We haven't really hung out much without him around, have we? It'll give you some bonding time with us girls."

"Still present." Nino said in a perfect deadpan.

Adrien smiled. "That sounds nice! I'm looking forward to it."

"Adrien says good-naturedly, forgetting that he's implying he also hopes his best friend can't come." Nino said.

"Aw, come on, Nino, I just meant it'd be nice to get closer to the girls. Of course, I want you there."

Nino finally shook his head and laughed. "Yeah, whatever dude. Maybe I'll just bail on purpose so that you can have your bonding time." He teased.

"You know I love you." Adrien hooked his arm around Nino's shoulders. "And I would never want you gone."

Alya snickered. "That's why it needs to be just us, Nino. When you're there, he only has eyes for you."

Adrien shrugged and grinned. "I cannot dispute this."

Nino crossed his arms. "Alright, alright. I forgive you. And I'll see what I can do about tomorrow." The glance he sent her told her that that statement was for her, and he meant it the exact opposite way Adrien thought.

 _Now I just need to find an excuse to bail on them once we're there. I'm sure I could use Dinah, at least for a while. Hopefully that's all they'll need. If not, well, I can pretend to be called away or something._

* * *

Marinette was screaming. Alya just nodded, as if the single note was a wise and coherent string of sentences. "What should I do?!" Marinette wailed. "I can't go like this!"

Alya had to admit, this had thrown a wrench in the plan. Since Nino had graciously not even bothered asking his parents to go with them in the first place and Marinette had come down with a sudden and unexpected illness, Alya was two people down on her double date. The problem, of course, being that at least one of them was the _wrong_ person down. And since they made plans for a morning trip there wasn't any time to call it off. Alya herself was already there, having gone with her father when he left for work, and Adrien would no doubt be along any minute.

She heard, over the phone, Marinette's wracking coughs interrupt the devastated whining. "Girl, don't worry. If you're sick, you're sick. We all understand. I'll hang out with Adrien here for a while then I'll bring him by and we'll check on you, alright?"

"No! I can't let Adrien see me like this! I'm a mess!"

Alya sighed. _Like that matters. If a boy can't see you when you're sick he doesn't deserve you. And Adrien will only worry about you, anyway._ "It's fine. We won't stay long, just long enough for him to tell you get well soon and we'll be out of your hair."

"I finally had a date with him…"

She shook her head. _Inasmuch as Nino and I bailing on a friend hangout is a date, but sure, let's go with that._ "There'll be other chances. You managed to ask him out this time, at least! Next time you might even ask him on a proper date! Still progress!"

"I guess." Her dejected tone brought Alya down, too, but she resolved to stay optimistic for Marinette's sake.

"Don't worry, girl. This'll be the perfect time for me to plant the seed. I'm still your wingwoman! You may not be here, but that doesn't mean we're getting nowhere. So just focus on getting better and we can pick back up on Monday, got it?"

"Okay, Alya. I wish I could be there with you."

"I know. It's fine. I'll see you later today, okay?"

"Okay."

"Get better. I got to go. Adrien's here." Alya waited for her goodbye before hanging up and waving to Adrien. "So," She said, "good news and bad news."

Adrien tilted his head. "Bad news?"

"Marinette's sick, so she can't make it."

"Oh." Adrien's brow knit together. "Is she okay?"

"She'll be fine." Alya waved off his concern. _I'm sure it's just a bug. She'll probably be fine by morning._ "But we can go visit her when we're done here if you have time."

"Definitely! Should we bring her something?"

 _Aside from your face? Nah, no need._ "We could get her some hot tea or something. We'll figure it out before we leave."

Adrien nodded. "Okay. But with her gone, it's just you and me then?"

"Yep." She grinned. "That's the good news. Just for today, I'm all yours."

He laughed, raising his hand to cover his mouth. "Yeah? Well, I guess I can't complain about that."

"You better not."

The two made their way into the zoo proper and started the circuit. "So," Adrien said somewhat awkwardly, "Alya."

"Mhmm?"

"Your dad is a zookeeper, right?"

"Yep." She popped the "p" playfully. "He works mostly with the black panther here. Speaking of, we need to stop by that exhibit. Dinah, the panther, misses me. According to Dad, anyway."

Adrien chuckled. "I'm sure your dad is right."

Alya eyed him carefully, watching as he rubbed his neck. _He's uncomfortable. Was expecting more of us, I guess. Only question is what to do about it. I should still talk up Marinette when I get the chance. Just something to think about._ "You know what I'm thinking?" She asked.

"Not really?"

"We're friends, yeah? We get along."

Adrien's eyes went a little wide. "Yeah! Of course you're my friend."

"Exactly. But we never really hang just us two, so now that we're like this, we don't really know what to say." Adrien opened his mouth to speak, but just flushed and rubbed at his neck and looked away. "So, what I'm thinking, is that maybe that's because we haven't really connected. What _really_ brings us together is Nino, so without him we don't really have anything in common. Get it?"

"Yeah."

"So," She said, smiling, "what should we do about it?"

Adrien crossed his arms as he thought. "I guess… if we find something we have in common, we can talk about that?"

"So, let's find something we have in common. For now, we can just ask each other questions. With how much time we spend together we don't really know much about each other, do we? Beyond knowing we're both beautiful, obviously."

Adrien chuckled. "Yeah. I guess so. I don't think I even realized it until now, but we never really talk much about anything other than Nino and Marinette."

"Not that they're not _totally_ fair game. But it would still be nice to get to know each other on our own terms, don't you think?"

"I really would like that."

"Then let's get started." She smirked. "First question: how much do you think you'll regret agreeing to a question game with me?"

Adrien sucked in an apprehensive breath and leaned away from her. "Is that a warning? That sounded like a warning. I don't remember agreeing to a question game."

"Well you're in one. You have to answer truthfully."

He chuckled weakly. "Well, in that case… I wasn't thinking I'd regret it, but now I'm starting to doubt."

Alya threw her arm over his shoulder and cackled. "Good. Your turn to ask a question."

"Alright, um… How're you at Ultimate Mecha Strike?"

"Middling at best, I think, but I basically only play Marinette so we'll probably never know." They both shared a laugh as they approached an enclosure full of flamingos. "If you were a semi-aquatic bird, which one would you be?"

Adrien gawked. "A semi-aquatic bird? Not just what animal?"

Alya gestured to the flamingos in front of them. "I'm not one for boring questions, Adrien, as you'll no doubt learn. I will also accept aquatic birds."

"Apparently. Huh, I guess… if I had to choose one in particular… how about an albatross?"

"Why an albatross?"

"I rather like the idea that the one who kills me will be cursed and stranded at sea for an indeterminable amount of time."

That had Alya reeling. She blinked, backstepped, and repeated his words in her mind just to be sure. "Well that's freaking dark."

"Pfft, kidding. Though, I did choose the albatross because of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. It's one of my favorites."

"Huh." Alya said. "I knew you were all cultured or whatever, but I figured it was because of your homeschooling. I didn't peg you as _actually_ a nerd."

" _How_ did you not peg me as a nerd?" Adrien laughed. "I thought you were good at reading people."

"I mean, obviously you're a nerd. I meant not a _literature_ nerd."

"Haha, alright, I'll accept that. Grudgingly." The two left the flamingos behind and found their way into the reptile house. They enjoyed playing hide-and-seek with the reptiles, trying to spot it before the other could, until Adrien finally asked his next question. "Alright, so, interesting questions. When the lizard people take over the world, do you plan on submitting to our new reptilian overlords, or will you join the resistance to free humanity from our oppression?"

Alya hummed. "It's on that branch, by the way." She said, pointing to the green snake in the enclosure in front of them. "If they really are oppressing us, I think I'd join the revolution. At the very least I could be an informant. Make use of my skills. If they _aren't_ , well, I'm not prejudiced against lizard people. I say welcome them."

"A very good answer." Adrien said, keeping his voice as serious as he could make it. "I, for one, love and accept our lizard overlords."

"Oh, no, they've already begun the invasion. They've replaced Adrien with a lizard person in disguise to plant the seeds and condition us before their hostile takeover!"

She felt Adrien's hand on her arm. When she met his eyes, she could tell he was doing all he could to keep a stoic expression. "Alya… You realize that now that you've figured out our plan, we have to take you next."

"You'll never catch me alive, you reptilian fascist." Alya reached up and roughly ruffled his hair, breaking free from him and twirling around a corner before he could recover.

"We don't need you alive, human!" Adrien called, rounding the corner after her. "We only need you out of the picture!"

She didn't want to run inside the building (she'd had that drilled into her by her dad when she was younger), so their faux chase didn't last long before Adrien caught her. "No!" She wailed. "I'm sorry, Marinette! I've failed you…" Adrien pulled her into his arms, trapping her in a hug from behind, and she leaned into him, reaching dramatically for the light above them. "Keep… the dream… alive…"

They stayed like that for just a moment before both of them burst out laughing. They were both wheezing and on their knees before either managed to stop. _Lucky there's hardly anyone else here right now._

She did spy one family looking baffled but entertained by them, but they politely kept moving from enclosure to enclosure while she and Adrien had been incapacitated by laughter.

She wiped her eyes, as Adrien did the same. "Ready to keep going, o benevolent overlord?"

"Pfft, sure."

She stood and offered her hand. He took it and let her pull him to his feet. "I will admit." She said, not letting go of his hand as they headed back to the enclosures they'd passed in their little chase. "That was a good question."

"Why thank you. Now it's your turn again. Snake's under the rock, by the way."

She bent over to look at it, but her attention was much more focused on her companion. "Alright, then, Adrien. If that is your real name." She spared him a glance and a smile, enjoying how his grin remained and how his shoulders relaxed. _He's not tense anymore. Good._ She squeezed his hand. "Tell me a secret."

"You mean, aside from me being a lizard person in the boy who was formerly known as Adrien's skin?"

Alya laughed. "Yes, aside from that."

"Hmm. Well…" He tapped his chin with his free hand, not attempting to pull away the one still in Alya's grasp. "I have the entirety of _Much Ado About Nothing_ , _Hamlet_ , _Macbeth_ and _Romeo and Juliet_ memorized, and it was not required for my homeschooling."

"You do not."

"Do too!"

"Okay, describe Marinette using only quotes from Shakespeare, then."

Adrien widened his eyes. "Marinette? Hmm, well…" He bit his lip and took a few minutes to mull it over. "Aha! Alright. Don't condemn me for this – I know where your head will go – but I think it works." He cleared his throat and dropped her hand so he could face her directly and preen himself for a moment. "Alright." With one more small cough, he began. "They say the lady is fair; 'tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous; 'tis so, I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me; by my troth, it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly."

Alya raised her brow. "For I will be horribly in love with her." She said.

His eyes went wide. "Alya…" He said slowly. "You know _Much Ado About Nothing_?"

"Yes, but go back to the 'I will be horribly in love with her' bit."

"I didn't say that. I purposefully left that off because I knew where your mind would go. I didn't expect you to actually know the quote."

Alya nodded. "That's fair. So how about the 'and wise but for loving me' part?"

Adrien rubbed his neck. "Well… she's not _that_ subtle."

"You did know!"

"Of course, I knew! I know I'm not the most observant guy but give me some credit."

Alya crossed her arms and sighed. "And since you know, that means you don't like her that way." Adrien was exceptionally quiet. "Well, there go my plans."

"Your plans? I half expected this to be another set up but what plans, exactly?"

"Mostly just to talk her up. Try to get you to fall in love with her. But you clearly already admire her, and you're not taking the bait, so I'm not sure what else to do."

"Oh." Adrien chuckled nervously. "Would it be too bold to say maybe you should give it a rest? I like Marinette, I do, but…"

"Not that way. And always wondering if I'm trying to set you up every time we ask you somewhere must get kind of stressful."

"To say the least."

Alya nodded. "Alright. I won't manufacture dates anymore like I was planning today."

"I knew it."

"Yet you still agreed."

"Well… I wanted to spend time with you guys."

She shook her head. "Anyway. That's really sweet, actually, but anyway. I'll stop manufacturing dates, but as Marinette's best friend I'm still obligated to root for her. You understand. I'm still firmly in the 'Adrien will open his eyes one day' camp and will still be trying to get you two closer."

Adrien hummed. "I… guess that's fair. To be honest I would like to be closer with Marinette. It's just with her crush and the… yeah. So, I don't mind you trying to get us closer, just… don't bet on anything romantic, alright?"

"Alright. I can live with that." Alya nodded thoughtfully. "Getting you two closer was always the main goal in the first place, and now that this is out in the open I can work with you to get past that instead of trying to work around you. Should be fun."

Adrien let out a breath, a relieved sigh. "Thank god. Now I'm really glad I chose that quote. It's so much easier just talking about it instead of pretending I don't notice."

"Speaking of. Why pretend? Why not just turn her down?"

"She can barely talk to me as it is!" Adrien groaned. "It's selfish, but I don't want to ruin any chance we have of being friends. Especially not since you and Nino are so close so we all hang out so much."

Alya sighed. "Yeah. No judgement here. It would make for pretty awkward double dates."

"Still with me and Nino, right?"

Alya snorted and punched his arm playfully. "Yeah, dude."

"Just making sure." He snickered a little. "And while we're playing matchmaker. You and Nino seem to be cahoots."

"Cahoots?"

"Like it wasn't obvious that he ditched us because he thought it was going to be me and Marinette here. I'm a little surprised, actually. Last I heard, _he_ had a crush on Marinette."

"Easy to see why, but I'm pretty sure he was converted a while back. That, or he's a huge pushover and he's too afraid of me to speak up."

Adrien raised his brow and tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Easy to see why."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Haha, it was." Adrien led the way out of the reptile house. "But I was really just fishing for something of your own love life, since you spend so much time on Marinette's. And mine, I guess."

"Hm." Alya said. "That's true. I suppose while we're talking like this I should ask you about your love life. I know you're not interested in Marinette, but other than that?"

Adrien raised his brow. "Other than that? Oh, yeah, there's loads of people I'm not interested in!"

"Adrien. I'm serious."

"Me, too! In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm not interested in most people."

"Rude."

"And don't think I didn't notice you dodge the question. I'll answer if you do."

Alya hummed and leaned on the railing outside the black bear enclosure. "Tell you what. Answer another smaller question, and then I'll answer the same one, and then we'll discuss the big one, alright?"

"Depends on the question, but I'm game."

"Do you have a crush? Just, on anyone. Is there someone you're interested in?"

Adrien chuckled. "Making sure you're not going to give up gossip for no return?"

"You read me like a book, my dude. So, you game?"

"Alright. I'll play. Yes, I do have a crush, though it's admittedly a completely unattainable one."

"Dude, same."

Adrien turned to the black bear and sighed wistfully. "It's not even just that she's way out of my league – though that might also be true. It's just…"

"Downright impossible because situational shenanigans." Alya said, shaking her head.

"Y-yeah. How did you know?"

"As I said: dude, same."

Adrien furrowed his brow. "Who's your crush?"

"Who's _your_ crush?" She countered.

"Well, it's…"

"Together?"

Adrien nodded. "Three, two, one."

Both of them spoke simultaneously. "Ladybug."

They stared at each other for a moment, then Adrien broke. "You have a crush on Ladybug?"

Alya stuck to countering by repeating exactly what he said. " _You_ have a crush on Ladybug?"

Adrien sputtered a little. "Wha- What do you even know about Ladybug?"

"Do you really want me to repeat your exact question for a third time?"

"I… well… it's my turn to ask the question."

Alya frowned. _The last official question was… right. Tell me a secret. Shit, he's right._ "That's mean."

"But I'm right."

"Fine." Alya pursed her lips. "As you know, I've had more than my fair share of encounters with Ladybug. We've talked, I've even interviewed her. Granted, most of those were her saving my butt, but that's not really a reason _not_ to start crushing on her, right?"

Adrien frowned. "What about Chat Noir?"

"What about him?" She chuckled. "He's cute, too."

Adrien shrugged, and Alya noticed he avoided eye contact with her. "I- well, I just mean that so long as we're crushing on heroes, right?"

"Alright then, my question. What about Chat Noir?"

Adrien seemed to short-circuit a little at the question. He made all sorts of tiny, incomprehensible noises as he attempted to piece together a response. After a minute, Alya was tempted to call it and assume that Chat Noir was the true captor of Adrien's heart given how he was basically acting like Marinette in full on Adrien overload. "Th-that's…" He finally said, "…I accept that. That's fair. It just… didn't happen, I guess. I've seen Ladybug firsthand more than him, so I guess I just leaned towards her."

Alya nodded. "That makes sense. For me, too."

Adrien let out a breath. Alya decided not to mention that for his sake. _He's really awkward about the subject of Chat Noir. Maybe he's crushing on both the heroes. But that wouldn't explain how he can so easily talk about Ladybug if it's just that. Maybe something happened between him and Chat Noir? Ooh, that would be interesting._

"Anyway." Adrien said, awkwardly rubbing his neck for the umpteenth time that day. He was quiet for a while, then said, "Ladybug?"

"Five times." Alya shook her head. "It's just a silly crush, anyway. I'm not an idiot. Even if she did notice me and noticed me that way, it couldn't work. For one, I don't know her secret identity, and though I obviously _do_ want to know, I understand the need for secrecy, and I wouldn't want to pry that out of her."

"Really?"

Alya held her hands up. "Never said I wouldn't speculate. But I don't ever expect any sort of confirmation." She sighed, looking back at the black bear that was lazily shifting to find a spot in the shade since the shadows had moved and exposed its previous spot to the sun. "So, there's that, then there's the whole mask thing in the first place. I can't date a persona. I wouldn't want to. And even though I'm pretty confident I've seen some glimpses of who she really is, it's not that so much that is the problem, but rather the mask itself. There's too much tied up in it, and even I can recognize that things would be much better without it."

Adrien's voice was quiet when he responded. "You've thought a lot about this."

"Well, what else is a teenage girl to do?" Alya grinned. "What about you?"

Adrien wrung his hands. "Well, she's saved me a few times, too, you know."

"I guess." Alya patted his back. "Better question, then. Any love life news that isn't related to a masked superheroine that half of Paris is in love with?"

Adrien sighed. His eyes watched something far away that Alya couldn't see. After a moment, he smiled and shook his head. "Nope. You?"

"Nope." She chuckled. "At least it's something we have in common."

"Right, speaking of. You're a literature nerd as much as I am?" Adrien grinned.

"Not as much of one as you." Alya countered. "But I know my classics."

"Alya, I am so disappointed in you!"

Alya scoffed. "Really?"

"All this time trying to pair me with Marinette and you _never once_ Benedick-ed me? You didn't even try?"

Alya shrugged. "Would've, but Marinette made me promise not to tell you and I think that kind of counts."

"Ah, that's fair."

"Would it have worked anyway?"

"Maybe, maybe not, but either way it would've given me an excuse to annoy Nino with Benedick's entire monologue."

Alya couldn't resist chuckling. "A worthy goal, to be sure. But nay, gentle Romeo, we must have you dance."

Adrien arched his brow. "Not I, believe me: you have dancing shoes with nimble soles: I have a soul of lead so stakes me to the ground I cannot move."

"You are a lover; borrow Cupid's wings, and soar with them above a common bound."

"I am too sore enpierced with his shaft to soar with his light feathers, and so bound, I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe: under love's heavy burden do I sink." Adrien dramatically feigned swooning, right into Alya's arms. She hauled him right back onto his feet with a laugh.

"And, to sink in it, should you burden love; too great oppression for a tender thing."

"Is love a tender thing? it is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn."

"I'm starting to lose track of how much of this is actually relevant or if we're just going to reenact all of _Romeo and Juliet_."

"I would be totally down for just reenacting all of it."

Alya snorted again and grabbed his hand, finally starting towards the next enclosure. "Alright, well, tell me this one. How hung up are you on dear Rosalind?"

"Ladybug? Ah…" Adrien shook his head. "More than I should be, but not exceptionally so. I really am in love with her, but I have to acknowledge the situation, too. Even if she did like me, there's still all that other stuff in the way. It'd never work as is. Not going to stop me from hoping, though!"

Alya closed her eyes and nodded. "So, you were speaking from the heart."

"What?"

"It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn." She repeated. "You really are sad about it."

She looked over in time to see him blush. "W-well. I, uh… yeah. I guess."

"Personally," She said, "it's more a celebrity crush for me. Even if she asked me out right now I'd probably say no. Wouldn't be fair to either of us. But… you think different, then."

"It's just…" Adrien chuckled weakly. "How can you resist that? She's…" He gestured vaguely. "She's _Ladybug_."

"Exactly." Alya shook her head.

"Well, as long as we're indulging in fantasy, it wouldn't be Ladybug per se that I'd date anyway. I want to date the girl behind the mask. Ladybug will always be the hero, I'd want her to myself when she's not on duty. When the city needs her, I'd be content to share."

"Oh, really?" She laughed. "Wouldn't that be nice if Ladybug went around telling random teenagers her secret identity?"

"It'd be our secret."

"Well, I doubt she'd tell anyone without telling Chat Noir, first, so not strictly."

Adrien just shrugged and grinned. "I can live with that."

"Oh, boy." Alya chuckled as they approached an enclosure with some lemurs inside. "So, back to theoretical questions – no real-world implications, I promise – if you had to pick someone aside from Ladybug to date, who'd it be?"

Adrien hummed. "Hmm. How about…" He shrugged. "How about Nino? We're already best friends, he's cute, I'm cute, it's perfect."

Alya couldn't hold back her snicker. "Had to resist saying Marinette?"

"She's an option, I suppose, but I thought it better not to encourage you."

"Don't worry, bro, I promised no implications. I won't try anything."

"Good. So, how about you?"

"Me?" Alya tapped her chin. "Let's think… I'll go with Alix."

Adrien made a face at that. "That would be… scary."

She grinned at him, making him take a cautious step away from her. "Exactly."


	2. Chapter 2

Adrien's driver picked them up from the zoo, once they had decided it was time to leave. As agreed, they continued to Marinette's home, and stepped in the front door of the bakery, enjoying the scent of sweet bread and pastries ever more after being submerged in the smell of a zoo all morning.

Adrien waved to M. Dupain. "Good afternoon, Monsieur Dupain." Adrien said.

"Hey!" Alya said. "We're here to check on Marinette."

"She's in her room, go on up." M. Dupain said with a smile, ushering them back to the house proper.

Alya and Adrien made their way up the stairs to Marinette's room and lifted the latch to find, to both their surprise, that Nino was already there, talking with a functional, though under-the-weather, Marinette.

Alya climbed in far enough for Adrien to peek inside, then met his glance. He snickered and whispered. " _Midsummer Night's Dream_. Act three, scene two?"

Alya raised her brow. "Oh me! you juggler?"

Adrien nodded. "You canker-blossom."

She couldn't resist giggling. "You thief of love."

Nino and Marinette looked up at them. "Oh, no." Nino said. "They're doing the Shakespeare thing."

Adrien hopped in the room and faced Marinette, acting so overdramatically that even she couldn't take him seriously when he clung to Nino's arm and said, "What, have you come by night and stolen my love's heart from him?"

"I- but- wha-?" Marinette stuttered.

For her sake, Alya jumped in to her rescue. "Fine, i'faith! Have you no modesty?" She sneered at Adrien, noticing Nino's expression which told her he was questioning _both_ their senses of modesty. "No maiden shame, no touch of bashfulness?"

Nino sucked in a hissing breath. "Alright!" He said. "That's enough of that. It's bad enough I have to deal with one of you." He cradled his head in his hands. "Who thought it was a good idea to let those two go anywhere alone? Good god."

Alya snickered. "You love us, though."

Nino didn't stop rubbing his temples as he answered. "Against my better judgement, yeah."

"Aw!" Adrien cooed. "And, I pray thee now, tell me for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?"

That earned him a sharp glare. "One more word, Adrien."

Adrien looked at Alya with a satisfied grin that thoroughly rebutted his next words. "Sorry, Nino."

"Anyway." Alya shook her head with a sigh. "Marinette, how're you feeling?"

Marinette looked at her with wide eyes. "Oh, um." She turned her gaze back to the floor. "Better."

"Awesome." Affectionately, she ruffled Marinette's hair a little, messing up the already very messy pigtails she no doubt barely dragged herself into preparing. "Adrien?"

The best thing about the whole "Marinette has a crush on you" thing being aired out between Alya and Adrien, in her opinion, was that she now had control over Adrien's side of the equation as well as Marinette's. As much as anyone could have control over anything to do with Marinette, at least.

"Right!" Adrien said, remembering their previous agreement – their get-well gift to Marinette. "Marinette." He smiled and put his hand on her shoulder. _Be strong, my girl._ "Since today kind of fell through, Alya and I thought we should plan something else so all four of us actually do get a chance to hang out." At mentioning the four, he gave a pointed glance to Nino. "So, let me know when you feel up to it, and I'll talk to Nathalie and arrange for you guys to come to my place. We can play video games, foosball, _act_ -"

"Vetoed." Nino said. He looked to Marinette. "For your own good."

Adrien rolled his eyes and then winked at Alya, a "we're totally doing it anyway" kind of gesture. She had to giggle a little at that. "Anyway." Adrien said. "Point is, no friend left behind. This time it'll be proper, alright? Hopefully we can do it this week."

Marinette nodded demurely, and Nino scooted to nearby Alya. "So, what happened?" He whispered.

"In a minute." She returned just as quietly. Focus back on Marinette, she grinned and rubbed her friend's back. "Anyway, girl. We just came to check up on you. If you're alright, we need to be going."

"Y-yes!" Marinette exclaimed suddenly, too loud to be appropriate. Alya fought off the flinch. "I'm just fine! Thank you all for coming. I really am a lot better than I was this morning, haha, I'm sure I'll be at school on Monday, so you don't need to worry."

"Great!" Adrien said. With a wink, he started towards the door once more. "I'll see you soon, Marinette."

He descended, followed by Nino, and Alya lingered just long enough to hear Marinette's squeal before shaking her head and following suit.

"Oh! Are you three leaving already? Are you sure you can't stay for a while longer?" Mme. Cheng cut off their exit with a plate of sweets. "Marinette really appreciates having her friends over."

"I'm afraid not, Madame Cheng." Adrien said.

Alya nodded. "We really need to get home, we just stopped by since we heard she was sick."

"Well," Mme. Cheng said. "That's very nice of you. Come back anytime, now! Do any of you want something for the road?"

Nino and Alya eagerly took a couple cookies from her plate when she offered it, but Adrien nervously hung back. With a roll of her eyes, Alya grabbed one for him as well and gave it to him. "Thanks!" She said, saluting with the cookie as they went out the door. Adrien and Nino both echoed their thank yous as well.

Mme. Cheng just smiled and waved goodbye to them.

"Okay." Nino said, once they were on the street together. "So, _in your own words_ , what happened at the zoo today?"

Adrien giggled. "I found out Alya is as big of a literature nerd as I am."

Even Nino shook his head at that. "Not quite that big, but yeah."

"You _knew_?!"

"Of course, I knew."

"And you didn't tell your best friend?"

"How could I? I wouldn't be able to hear French ever again. You'd all just be talking in Shakespeare."

Adrien mocked offense, but Alya laughed. "That's fair. I also found out that Adrien knows about Marinette's crush."

"Well, duh."

She shot him a half-hearted glare out of the corner of her eye. "You know, you could've told me that. I had to infer, obviously, but if I had confirmation he already knew I wouldn't have had to dance around it all the time."

Nino just shrugged. "That whole shenanigan is none of my business."

"You're just being purposefully obtuse."

"So? It's my only defense."

"Against what?"

Nino emphasized his one-word response to the point of almost making Alya pause. "Shenanigans."

Adrien laughed. "I happen to enjoy shenanigans."

"I know." Nino said pointedly.

The three continued their walk together until they had to continue it alone, and soon enough Alya was back at home and relaxing, pondering her next move.

Luckily, she and Adrien were of one mind on what was necessary – the overcoming of Marinette's crippling infatuation at least to the point of coherency. Where they disagreed was the method, but Alya managed to pull him to her side by using rational arguments rather than best friend bias.

Adrien had recommended they try to get Marinette over her crush entirely – which made sense, and indeed Alya wasn't totally against the idea. It would definitely solve the problem and allow for a real friendship between the two to flourish without the messy broken heart ending up as an elephant in the room. Knowing Adrien didn't like her romantically, while simultaneously holding her in such high esteem (making impressing him to the point of a crush unlikely), and that he had no intention of attempting to change his own views on the subject (he had abashedly mumbled something about "these things coming naturally" when pressed), meant that Marinette would eventually need to overcome the infatuation herself or face a broken heart (barring, of course, Adrien changing his mind, but Alya respected him enough not to make plans around him being inconstant).

But, even still, this kind of behavior from Marinette – jumbled speech and erratic behavior to a worrying extreme around a crush – was more concerning to Alya as a best friend than a potential future broken heart. Marinette would get over a broken heart. Time would heal and even if they were never quite as close as Alya was with them they'd become friends. Alya was confident in that. But if she never learned how to get over that kind of devastating bashfulness whenever she has a crush, she'd just get into the same situation as soon as she found someone new.

Alya figured that so long as she had a crush who was also her friend and who would be willing to put up with the potential awkwardness (something she stressed to Adrien when she had first thought of the plan), if they could allow her to prove she could overcome those nerves then she stood a much better chance in any future endeavor. At the very least, Alya could point to it and use it as motivation for her.

So, it was either attempt to defuse the situation or attempt to help Marinette grow as a person. Adrien being Adrien, and Alya being Alya, naturally decided on the latter. They certainly wouldn't _encourage_ the crush, at least not any more than Adrien's ridiculous and mindless flirting (which Alya was pretty sure he didn't know he was doing) was encouraging her, but they wouldn't yet try to discourage her affections. Yet. Ultimately, if they could do so and resolve the whole situation without a broken heart somewhere, that would obviously be ideal.

Alya did feel a little bad for Adrien in this situation, but as soon as she made the arguments he was the one really fighting for that course of action. So, whatever the outcome, Alya figured it was his own fault.

The problem, though, was _how_. Aside from spending as much time together as possible, Alya wasn't sure what might allow Marinette to relearn basic vocabulary.

That was what she thought of that Saturday when she got home, and what was on her mind for the following couple days until Tuesday, when Adrien made good on his promise to invite everyone to his house.

But Alya was in Adrien's room and they were chilling on his sofa and they were hearing not a peep from either of their best friends.

Adrien tapped his foot. Alya curled up comfortably. He unlocked his phone, despite there not being any notification. "Do you think they're okay?"

Alya shrugged. "They were in school."

"Right…" Adrien said. He sighed, then typed out a text and sent it.

They sat in tense silence for a few more minutes, and then Adrien's phone vibrated and he hurried to check it.

Then he burst out laughing. "Oh my god. Alya, you're bad."

"What?" She asked. "What is it?"

"Nino _forgot_."

Alya just blinked in confusion. "He forgot?"

"He said he's so used to being told to bail when it's the four of us that he's just completely forgotten we even planned anything."

Alya furrowed her brow. "You're saying we've classically trained our friend into forgetting anytime we plan a hangout?"

Adrien had his hands over his stomach as he cackled and was bending over as he tried to suck in breath. "I'm saying _you_ did."

"Oh my god." Alya couldn't resist giggling. Adrien's laughter was too infectious, and it was, really, pretty hilarious. "Oh, god, poor Nino."

"Haha, so, what about Marinette? You think she bailed?"

"Nah, dude, she wouldn't bail." Alya texted her to be sure and confirmed that their bakery was unusually busy for some reason and she was asked to help.

When she relayed that to Adrien he let out a held breath. "Oh. At least she's okay."

Alya nodded. "That does leave just us, though. Is Nino coming, or…?"

"No, there's not much point, is there?" He sighed. "Oh well. What do you want to do?"

"We could play video games? Plan? Act?"

"The third one." He said without hesitation.

"Without an audience?"

"It's just rehearsal." Adrien said with a sly smirk.

Alya snickered and agreed. "Far be it from me to turn down a moment on stage."

Adrien beamed and made a little squeaking sound that Alya thought was unfairly adorable. She shook her head at him as he said, "I can't _believe_ we've never done this before! You were right there! My Juliet! My Beatrice! My Helena!" He dropped to his knee and eyed her purposefully. "My _Hero_!"

Alya snorted. "Am I Beatrice _and_ Hero? Signor Benedick? My dear Claudio?"

"We're both everyone because our lame friends won't get in on this."

"It takes some doing but Marinette _can_ be persuaded." Alya said, recalling that particular weekend. "Ah, that was fun."

"You're joking."

"Nope. Next time you find an opportunity – and I know this is a very specific scenario, but _please_ just remember it. If you get the opportunity, say to her, 'He wrote some verses on her, and very pretty they were.' Do it for all of our sakes."

Adrien arched his eyebrows. "Really? That's not Shakespeare… um…" He scrunched up his face as he tried to think.

"Jane Austen." Alya prompted.

"Right!" He snapped his fingers. " _Pride and Prejudice._ "

Alya snickered. "On second thought. Let me do Charlotte, you can come in after Marinette as Mister Darcy."

Adrien grinned, then frowned. "Hmm. I don't know. I'm not sure we should encourage that kind of thinking."

"Dude, if you _proposed_ to her as Mister Darcy, she would tear you apart. Crush or not, she would not hesitate. I have drilled Elizabeth Bennet into her skull to the point that she does not even have a choice in the matter anymore."

"Hah! How did you pull that off?"

"Lots of patience."

"So, if I _did_ propose to her, she _wouldn't_ spontaneously combust?"

"Guarantee it." Alya snickered and inclined her head. "I mean, she _would_. Later, though."

Adrien got an impish smile that Alya rather enjoyed seeing on his face. "I kind of want to now."

"Adrien." Alya called his attention and looked him seriously in the eyes. "As the one who would be dealing that fallout, and as the one who knows that she would know that it's my fault, I give my full permission to propose to her if you so desire."

"I…" He started. "I want to _so_ bad, but _god_ I have to think about her, too. That'd just be mean, with her crush."

"All I'm saying, bro, is that she would totally blame me. And I am _fine_ with that, if you do it somewhere public."

"Why public?"

"Well, not _public_ public. But, like, in class or something." Alya tapped her chin. "Actually, just make sure Chloé can see."

"Right!" Adrien gasped, this time a little incredulous. "So the _other_ girl who has a crush on me is also hurt by it!"

"She knows you're a nerd." Alya scoffed. After a moment, and some thought, she furrowed her brow and looked at him. "Right?"

"Well, yeah."

"So, would this _really_ be out of character for you? How much would it hurt her? Especially when Marinette turns you down."

Adrien pouted. "You really want me to do this."

"Adrien, buddy." Alya patted his shoulder and smiled. "You want _yourself_ to do this."

Adrien crossed his arms and grumbled a little as he thought. After a moment he looked up at her with a gleam in his eye. "Tell you what. I've got a challenge."

"Oh, you're on."

"You don't even know what it is."

"I _really_ want to see this."

Adrien laughed and shook his head. "Okay, so first of all, if you can fit this proposal into the plan to get Marinette talking to me, then I'll do it."

"Oh, that's _easy_!"

"Ahp, ahp-ahp." He held up a finger. "One other stipulation." Alya tapped her foot and put her ands on her hips. "You coerced me into it."

"Oh, throw _me_ under the bus?"

"Look, I'll have two girls feeling all sorts of ways over this. You're at least taking responsibility."

Alya just laughed. "Fine. Deal. Marinette's going to know it was me, anyway. I'm telling you now."

"Alright then. Now I'd love to hear exactly _why_ I'm doing this." Adrien snickered. "For Marinette, and for absolutely no shenanigans at all."

"Naturally." Alya curtsied. "Mister Darcy." She cleared her throat and sat him down on the sofa while she paced in front of him. "As you know, Marinette Dupain-Cheng has a tendency to, shall we say, freeze? Whenever you come around."

"Mhmm." Adrien teased. "Mhmm."

"Now, our ultimate goal is…"

"Getting her to talk to me without stuttering?"

"Very good." Alya nodded seriously. "We want her to get better at talking to you. And how, my dear, does one get better at something?"

Adrien pursed his lips. "Practice?"

"Precisely!" Alya exclaimed a little loudly, making Adrien jump a little. She lowered her voice to a whisper and leaned in towards him. "Practice." With a sniff, she backed away. Adrien bit his lip, obviously trying to suppress laughter. "Now, what is the goal of practicing? Anything you can practice, what is your goal?"

"To get better."

"Exactly." She hissed. "To. Get. Good." Adrien couldn't help bursting out in laughter then, but Alya kept her serious act and continued. "You know what she's good at?"

"Oh! Sewing!"

"Exactly right! Sewing! She's so good, she can do it in her sleep! One might even say she needn't even think! And you know what she also won't think about? _Rejecting your ass_!" Even Alya joined in on the laughter as she tried to finish. "That's why this is exactly what she needs! She'll talk to you, all smooth sentences and sass and won't get in her own way. That's practice isn't it?"

Adrien clapped his hands together once, stifling his laughter as he did so, and then ever so slowly parted them and clapped again. Once his slow-clap sped up enough, he stood, and Alya bowed graciously. "Bravo." He said. "I'm convinced!"

"Perfect!" Alya giggled. "That wasn't even my biggest leap. So, you wait two minutes after I walk into the classroom, alright? Then you come in and do your thing."

"Are you going to set up to record this?"

"Duh. Who do you think I am?"

Adrien shrugged. "That's fair. You're a bad influence on me."

"Nino agrees."

* * *

It took all of Alya's self-control not to give away the plan when she walked into class the next morning. She had already checked that Marinette and Nino and Chloé were there before them and was subtly starting the recording on her phone – keeping the screen hidden and the camera under the desk (she could edit out the dead time later.).

She buzzed with excitement but had to suppress it. _I can't. I can't. I can't. Don't laugh._

Just before she broke down, her savior strode into the room. _Where the hell did he pull a top hat out of?_ She didn't know if it made any sense, and quite frankly, she didn't care. It was hilarious.

Adrien was dressed totally normally aside from the sleek black top hat upon his head. Naturally, he pulled some stares. "Adrien." Nino said. Alya did snicker when she heard the little warning tone in his voice. "What the hell are you doing?"

Marinette was just as gobsmacked as the rest of the class, so Alya pulled out her phone, luckily catching Adrien before he doffed the hat and wrung the brim between his hands.

He paced once, twice, across the front of the classroom, ignoring the few classmates who thought to say anything, and then surged toward his own desk, practically sliding onto his seat. On his knees, facing Marinette with big, desperate eyes. Alya had a _really_ good view, from right by Marinette's side.

"In vain I have struggled." Adrien began. _Holy shit, I told him to quote the book I didn't think he'd bring out the Oscar._ "It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." He faced Marinette, full of emotion, and Alya hesitated for a moment because _Gosh, I did not expect him to_ sell _it. I was never that serious. Shit, is Mari actually going to-_

"In such cases as this," Marinette said. Her voice was dull and stoic and cold and Alya stared at her. _Holy shit, she's selling it too._ "…it is, I believe the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned."

Alya took the chance to look at Chloé's dumbstruck, speechless face. _She's not picking her jaw up in the next century._ To Alya's surprise, Adrien also continued to act, feigning the hurt and shock of the rejected party. "It is natural that obligation should be felt," Marinette continued, her voice loud and clear in the otherwise dead silence of the stunned classroom, "and if I could _feel_ gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot – I have never desired your good opinion, and you have certainly bestowed it most unwilling-g-g-gg-ffffffffff-" Alya slowly gathered her legs under her as she saw Marinette break out of her auto-response. "ALYA!"

Alya winked at Adrien as she hopped out of her seat. "That's my cue!"

"ALYA GET BACK HERE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Alya cackled as she danced around the classroom. _Worth it._

Thankfully for Alya, Nino caught Marinette and held her back long enough for her to take another second, look at Adrien (who just stared back with big, shocked, innocent eyes. Alya believed the first attribute, but not the second.), and flush so crimson Alya was a little worried she'd pass out.

The next few minutes were a cacophony of shrieks, groans, and Alya and Adrien's joint hysterics punctuated by the occasional, really bad attempt to apologize to Marinette.

Alya was clutching on to Adrien, as he was to her, and both of them had physically fallen to the ground and that only made everything even funnier, so they couldn't stand. Marinette was groaning loudly and hiding her face in her hands. Nino was just groaning and looking disapprovingly at them both.

A bunch of the classmates were clapping – for their award-winning performance or for the joke Alya wasn't sure. And Chloé shrieked, "Who on earth thought letting _those_ _two_ be alone together was a _good_ idea?!"

Nino just shook his head.

"Césaire!" Alya felt hands grab her and yank her to her feet. She still couldn't stop laughing. "You are not spending any more time with my Adrikins! You're a terrible influence!"

While Alya knew, on some level, that at that point a lot of what she was laughing at (like herself and Adrien on the floor) was not _actually_ funny. That just threw everything right back down the rabbit hole of humor. "Oh god," she gasped through her cackling, "I can't breathe."

Chloé dropped her, and her disgusted look was even more hilarious to Alya. "Good. Hopefully you won't again."

"That's mean, Chloé." Adrien said, though he was also still cackling. "Ah… oh god… M-Marinette… hahaha- I'm so sorry."

Nino once again just shook his head. As Marinette was still hiding in her own arms, Nino defended her. "You don't sound sorry."

"It was Alya! She's a terrible influence!"

Alya threw her arm over Adrien shoulder. "It's true!" She giggled.

Marinette tugged on Nino's sleeve and said quietly. "It's Alya's fault. Don't blame Adrien."

Nino shook his head.

"Oh god, Chloé." Alya gasped. "You must have had a heart attack!"

"Okay!" Nino said. "Since I have to be the adult here." He took Alya by her sleeve and Adrien by the back of his collar (the way he held him, like he was holding a rambunctious kitten, just made Alya laugh harder) and dragged both of them out into the hallway, where he then guarded the door until they had both settled down (not that either of them was actually trying to get back inside). It didn't take as long as it might have otherwise, if for no other reason than Nino's stern look was rather sobering.

He crossed his arms and tapped his foot. "Alya." He said, holding out his hand.

"No." She held her phone protectively to her chest.

"Give it."

"No."

"Alya, I swear to god."

With a pout and a look to Adrien, she reluctantly handed him her phone.

Nino started impassively tapping at it. "Now, I'm not deleting the video completely. I'm sending it to me, and then deleting it. You can have the video if: one, Marinette says you can, and two, you show me you can handle it." He handed the phone back. "Until then, are you going to explain yourselves?"

Adrien kicked the ground idly, sharing another look with Alya and snickering. "It was funny."

"Was it funny for Marinette? And was it funny for," Nino slapped a hand to his face and groaned into it, "God help me, was it funny for Chloé?"

"Nino," Alya said. "Marinette knows it's me. It's not a big deal."

"Still, don't you think that was a little out of line?"

Alya and Adrien looked at each other once more. "Maybe."

Adrien wriggled a little under Nino's stare. "Are you mad?" He asked.

"I'm not mad." Nino said. "Though I am confiscating this." He took the top hat out of Adrien's hands. "Just go back in – calmly – and apologize."

"Okay."

"And," Nino said, stopping Adrien from entering with a hand on his chest. "Apologize for embarrassing her. Remember, you still don't know about her crush."

"I know."

Adrien and Alya both hung their heads while Nino watched them. "Go on."

They hurried into the classroom.

Adrien entered first and approached Marinette first. He smiled, and she was still beet-red but did smile back. "Marinette," Adrien said. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I just thought it'd be fun and Alya said you knew the part."

"T-that's, uh, that's fine, Adrien. It's okay."

Alya stepped up alongside him. "I'm sorry, Marinette, it really was me. I talked him into it." Alya whipped out her best puppy-eyes, and tried to silently send the message, "And I knew you wouldn't misinterpret it."

Marinette shook her head and sighed. "I'm still mad at you." She said. "But I forgive you."

"Girl, how can you forgive and still be mad?"

"Do you _not_ want me to forgive you?"

"Shutting my mouth."

The two turned, under Nino's watchful eye and knelt next to Chloé's desk. This part of the apology being much quieter, as the rest of the class went back to their own things. "I'm sorry for doing that right in front of you, Chloé." Adrien said quietly. He rested his chin on her desk, kneeling on the ground. "That was crass."

Chloé sniffed. "Please, like anyone would believe you love Marinette Dupain-Cheng, anyway. Don't even mention it."

Adrien frowned a little at that, and Alya met his gaze. _Not worth it. Not right now, anyway._ "I'm sorry too, Chloé." She said. She wasn't _that_ sorry as far as Chloé was concerned, and she knew her apology wouldn't actually go far. It was mostly for Adrien's sake that she bothered at all. "I orchestrated it all."

Chloé glared down her nose at Alya. "Who said you could talk to me? Go leave me and Adrien alone."

Look or not, Alya couldn't stop Adrien from retorting. "She's my friend, Chloé. We're not going to stop talking."

"Adrikins. She's a terrible influence." _Like you're one to talk._ Those words out of Chloé's mouth made Alya want to fall right back into hysterical laughter.

"I admit this wasn't our best idea."

Alya snickered. "Sorry. I'm an enabler."

Adrien nudged her with his elbow. "Well that's true." He turned his gaze back to Chloé. "Anyway. Forgive me?" Chloé cast a single glance to Alya before Adrien said, "No, not even for your forgiveness."

 _Aw. That's sweet._ Chloé scoffed. "There's nothing more to say. I've already made myself clear. I didn't even believe you, so there's nothing to forgive."

Adrien smiled warmly. Alya thought he might be the only one who could smile like that at Chloé. "Thanks, Chloé."

Nino ushered them both back to their seats, where Alya sat down with Marinette and felt like she had to use the puppy-eyes again. "Sorry." She repeated, grabbing Marinette's arm. "It was hilarious though."

Marinette bit her lip and cast an anxious glance to the back of Adrien's head before grabbing Alya's collar and yanking her close. "I can't _believe_ I said that to _Adrien_!" She hissed.

Alya chuckled and smiled at her best friend. "You know," she said, "believe it or not there was a reason besides shenanigans that I told him to do that."

Marinette frowned. "Why?"

"Girl, you rejected Adrien."

Marinette squeaked. "Oh no, I did, didn't I? He's going to hate me!"

"Stop. Stop right there. I see that train, and I'm derailing it, alright?" Alya took Marinette's face in her hands. "First of all, he loves this stuff. Couldn't you tell? He loves quoting books and plays and the fact that you played along only makes him love you, alright?" Marinette blushed and nodded silently. "Second, there was a point. It's right there." Alya grinned and pointed above Marinette's head. "Right there."

"Alya."

Alya snickered and gently poked Marinette's nose. "Point is, you didn't stutter once, or trip over any of your words. In a rejection, no less! This was proof of concept that you _can_ talk to him."

Marinette scowled. "I can talk to Mister Darcy."

"They're basically the same person! I mean that boy can _act_."

"Oh my god, right?!" Marinette squealed a little. "I didn't expect that! I mean, I probably should have because he's _great_ but like-"

Alya nodded. "I expected it." She said. "The boy is _nerd_."

"Alya!" Marinette gasped.

"By his own admission!" She said with a laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Alya had to admit that, even though it was in large part just the result of her and Adrien being the huge dorks they were and not a concentrated effort to relieve everyone from the pain of flustered Marinette (it was getting old, and Marinette was always frustrated with it), the whole "Mr. Darcy proposal" thing was not altogether a terrible step.

The change was subtle, but no one else had the kind of seat Alya did to the spectacle that was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She didn't make any great bounds in her vocabulary, she still went red and fumbled over herself when she addressed Adrien, but she was a bit bolder after all was said and done.

She wasn't at "ask Adrien out" level, but she had just touched "joke with Adrien" level and Alya found it utterly adorable when she saw Marinette, red-faced and jittery, make a pun about the topic of the day. She loved to watch when Adrien would set her up and wait patiently, smiling at her, until she managed to finish the joke.

She was sure Adrien noticed it – he had mentioned it to her once – and Nino probably did as well, but otherwise it wasn't something most people would really see. It wasn't how Marinette talked that changed but the content of what she did say.

And Nino did eventually apologize for "overreacting" after the Big Proposal and sent Alya her video. "You're her best friend." He said. "So, I guess you get some leeway. I wasn't really thinking about that, just about it being her crush admitting love to her as a joke."

"Nino, you know we'd never do anything to hurt her." Alya had said.

"Yeah, I know. That's why I'm sorry I acted like that. I just got kind of protective."

"It's alright, I understand. If anyone else had pulled that I'd have had their hides, too. If it wasn't _Pride and Prejudice_ there's no way I would've taken part in that. It's a unique situation."

"Ha, apparently."

Of course, that was all _after_ Nino had had a long chat with Marinette in private. Not that Alya was surprised. Nino didn't know everything, and Alya silently resolved to clue him in on any future shenanigans her and Adrien pulled. To avoid another misunderstanding. _Still, we did kind of push it. I'll be more careful, but I can at least enjoy seeing the results!_

Despite his apology, though, he never did let her and Adrien hang out alone after that. _Which is fair. He's one-hundred percent of our impulse control._ But just because he was always chaperoning didn't mean Alya _never_ talked to Adrien one-on-one. They frequently talked over text for their most egregious references or for particularly sneaky planning or if, for some reason, they just felt like it.

And Alya was really enjoying getting closer to him herself.

It was almost a month into their new routine when, just as she got home from school, she received a particularly curious text from Adrien.

AA: so here's the deal  
AA: I wanna renegotiate the terms of our arrangement  
AC: lol dude what arrangement  
AA: the one we agreed on at the zoo!  
AA: when we were deciding what to do about the Marinette Situation  
AC: wat  
AC: what about it  
AA: we agreed that I wouldn't stop you from trying to get me to like Marinette back  
AC: i remember  
AA: well I want you to stop  
AC: getting 2 close 2 working?  
AA: you wish ;3  
AA: no its bc I want to focus your attention elsewhere  
AC: color me intrigued  
AC: whats the new arrangement  
AA: same deal w getting Marinette to talk to me  
AA: but instead of staying on the side of Marinette's crush  
AA: you come to the dark side  
AA: we… okay Marinette's the one w the cookies  
AA: but we have a certain penchant for theatrics  
AC: lol idk buddy cookies theatrics i cant decide  
AA: okay okay seriously  
AA: remember way back  
AA: animan and the First Great Zoo Adventure  
AC: i do  
AA: well I know you were thinking it was a date w Marinette and me  
AA: but really it was supposed to be a date w Marinette and Nino  
AC: i remember  
AA: so?  
AC: so wat  
AA: lets get them together!  
AC: i thought nino wasnt even into her anymore  
AA: that's what he says  
AA: I do not believe  
AC: if ur tryin 2 say our best boy nino has a crush he wont admit im gonna need u 2 defend that thesis  
AA: I expected this and prepared an itemized list for just such an occasion  
AC: u absolute dweeb  
AA: thank you may I begin  
AC: by all means  
AA: *clears throat*  
AA: 1: the First Great Zoo Adventure happened before all four of us really started hanging out on any regular basis  
AA: Nino came back from said adventure having figured out that Marinette has a crush on me  
AA: and you and he began spending more time together as you arranged Shenanigans to expedite the arrival of your ship, the SS Adrinette  
AA: with me so far?  
AC: seems accurate enough  
AA: well I posit to you this question  
AA: with you always talking up Marinette around us, why would Nino STOP crushing on her  
AA: would not it only become exacerbated?  
AC: he hasnt said nothing tho  
AA: ah my dear that brings me to point 2  
AA: which is he knew you were trying to set me up w her  
AA: and no offense but you're a little scary sometimes  
AC: lol none taken  
AA: so is it not reasonable that he might just  
AA: not say anything  
AC: not even 2 u?  
AA: well he likes me so maybe he thought I'd treat her well  
AA: and also he knew about Marinette's crush so maybe he thought if she's happy that's good enough  
AA: and also Nino is not the type to sabotage anything not even your plans to set up his crush and his best friend  
AA: dudes not us and that is a Shenanigan if I've ever seen one  
AC: thats fair  
AC: but ur gonna need more than that  
AC: its been so long since the First Great Zoo Adventure that that old crush admission doesnt hold water anymore  
AA: 3  
AC: oh damn there was a 3  
AA: you bet there was a 3  
AA: I have demonstrated to you how and why our best dude may have maintained and hid his crush on our best girl  
AA: now in 3 I shall demonstrate The Evidence  
AC: not The Evidence!  
AA: The Evidence!  
AA: now for exhibit A I direct you to none other than our best girl herself  
AA: next question  
AC: i was gonna say smthn but u right  
AA: for exhibit B I present to you the Big Proposal  
AA: by his own admission he was being protective  
AA: and like I really feel bad bc he was legit shocked and hurt when we did that  
AA: which is evidence doublefold  
AC: uh twofold?  
AA: I said doublefold so doublefold it shall be  
AC: lol if u say so  
AC: what is this doublefold evidence  
AA: first of all he was super protective over her  
AA: second if he did resolve to allow the SS Adrinette to sail  
AA: would he not be especially hurt at what seems like an especially cruel joke with regards to that particular steamship?  
AA: and afterward  
AA: which is exhibit C btw  
AA: Marinette is totally fine about it  
AA: she even laughed about it  
AA: nino still isn't laughing hes still touchy about it  
AA: like he will verbally admit it wasn't a huge deal but he still acts kinda weird  
AC: how so  
AA: for instance  
AA: you know when Marinette isn't around and I sometimes joke about how perfect and wonderful she is  
AC: *suspicious eyes*  
AA: and no its not bc I have a crush its because she's wonderful and great and even a totally platonic guy friend can see that SHEESH  
AA: anyway Nino won't laugh at that anymore did you notice that  
AA: he used to laugh but ever since the Big Proposal he just gives this half hearted "yeah yeah" and its really kind of?  
AA: bumming me out?  
AA: I stopped doing that after I noticed bc it seemed like he wasn't really all there with those  
AA: almost like theres a little jealously goin on  
AC: i was more focused on mari but now that u mention it i do think i know exactly what ur talking about  
AC: when he does that little "mmnh" thing right  
AA: yeah! like "mmln"  
AC: mmmmmmaaaaaaahhhhhhh  
AA: mmmmmaaaaaaaaabbbbbbnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn  
AC: mmmwwwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm  
AA: are you making the sounds when you type those too  
AC: ofc who do u think i am  
AA: hehe  
AA: anyway  
AA: ya feel me on the crush  
AC: hmm  
AC: doctor  
AA: ! :D  
AC: dont get me wrong  
AC: im not convinced  
AC: only convinced its worth looking into  
AC: esp bc our best boy would be a great boyfriend  
AA: you mean hed be  
AC: yep  
AA: heD BE  
AC: SAY IT  
AA: a BEST BOYFRIEND  
AC: DAMN RIGHT  
AA: but wait so you'll agree to help me set them up?  
AC: lol only so long as you dont tell nino  
AA: he still wont admit it to me anyway  
AA: though I admit I haven't explicitly asked  
AC: idc y just dont tell him  
AC: bc im still ostensibly on the SS Adrinette  
AC: shovelin' coal  
AC: so if i jump ship now it would sink  
AA: so be it  
AC: yowch  
AC: point is 1 marinette cannot get word im helping w this  
AC: and 2 do not get ninos hopes up unless we see real progress  
AC: im mostly just curious what will happen tbh  
AA: and it's not like our best boy is here to stop us  
AC: hahaha trUE  
AC: so whats ur grand plan  
AA: before I answer that tell me something  
AA: does Marinette know Nino has a crush on her?  
AC: u mean at the close of the First Great Zoo Adventure? i dont think so  
AC: i never mentioned it after i found out  
AC: nino didnt even tell me about it himself i just assumed from the situation  
AC: honestly til now i wasnt even totally certain since he was pretty subtle even back then  
AA: perfect  
AA: so im thinking  
AC: oh god i know what ur thinking  
AA: yeah you dooooooo  
AC: are u allowed to say it  
AC: bc if u arent i shouldnt even kno so i cant either  
AA: again my girl  
AA: he denies it  
AA: so ofc he hasnt forbade me from saying anything  
AC: good enough 4 me  
AA: YES so if Marinette hears us talking about love stuff would she hide and eavesdrop  
AC: oh absolutely  
AA: I'm so happy  
AA: gotta admit I never thought I'd have a chance to Beatrice someone but I've always wanted to  
AC: ofc u have  
AA: have you not?  
AC: …i didnt say that  
AA: and whos gonna stop us?  
AC: no one!  
AA: yeAH lets do it!  
AC: im so down when we doin this  
AA: I'd rather not have anyone at school potentially overhear us so we need to make our own plans  
AA: like a movie or something  
AA: but we get there a few minutes early and start with The Plan when we see Marinette arriving  
AA: make sense?  
AC: dude im so here for this  
AC: hows tomorrow  
AA: works for me!  
AC: im calling mari immediately and well get everything sorted alright  
AA: alright! I'm so ready for this!

* * *

Planning had been swift and efficient. In no time at all, it was the following day and they had made plans and Alya was meeting Adrien at the theater.

They found a place to sit where Marinette would approach from their side and would easily hide behind the bushes behind them. "So…" Adrien said, excitement raising the pitch of his voice.

Alya chuckled. "A few things, while we're waiting." Adrien sobered up and nodded seriously. "First is that no matter how little thought Nino thinks we put into these shenanigans, we do at least need to think about this."

Adrien grinned and leaned close to her face. "You're not chickening out, are you?"

Alya returned his grin and brought her own face even closer to his. "No way." They both backed away, and Alya looked over to the side, down the street Marinette would approach on. "I'm just saying, she's pretty single-minded on you."

"But that's the point." He said. "To make her at least consider the possibility of someone else without breaking her heart with a rejection."

"Yeah, but if this works – heck, even if it doesn't, probably – you absolutely need to take it easy on her."

Adrien frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, stop flirting."

He stared at her for a moment as his cheeks gradually colored. "F-flirting?! What?"

Alya shook her head and sighed, though she couldn't resist smiling. "I know you don't do it on purpose, but just try to be a little careful."

"I do not flirt!"

"Honey." Alya arched her eyebrow and stared at him. After a moment of watching his befuddlement, she sighed one more and put on her best innocent Adrien face. She smiled eagerly and winked. "I'll see you soon, Marinette."

Adrien flushed an even bolder crimson. "I don't sound like that!" He squeaked.

"I hate to be the one to break this to you, but that's exactly what you sound like."

He groaned and covered his face with his hands. "How am I supposed to stop when I didn't even know I was doing it?"

"I don't know! I'm just saying try to think about it. Oh, and no quoting Shakespeare when she gets here. If she hears _Much Ado About Nothing_ , she'll piece it together."

Adrien pulled his hands away from his face and nodded. "Of course. It'll be hard but, for the cause, I will make this sacrifice."

"Look dude, the point is-"

"Some Cupid kills with arrows," Adrien hissed quietly, cutting her off, "some with traps."

Alya bit her lip and furrowed her brow. Marinette would be approaching from behind her, as she turned to talk better with Adrien during their conversation. So, she didn't know how close their target was or whether she could see her face. For safety, Alya acted her part. "No, Adrien, I don't think that's a good idea." She said. "Have you noticed anything to suggest Marinette might like him like that?" _If she wasn't eavesdropping before, she is now._

The bushes rustled, and Alya could only assume Marinette dove headlong into them. Adrien sighed. "No, you're right. But I swear he loves her! For his sake, let's at least tell her. So she can accept or reject him herself."

"No way, dude. She's not the type to mess around with someone's feelings. You really want him to get his heart broken? Better to just let him have his crush." She sighed heavily. "I know they say better to have loved and lost but… we don't need to get involved in that."

Adrien seemed deeply troubled by her words. "Are you sure? He doesn't stand a chance at all?"

"Adrien. You know Marinette wouldn't hurt him on purpose, but with this?" She sucked in a hissing breath and mulled over everything he'd said. "Are you sure? Like, absolutely positive that Nino loves Marinette like that?"

A tiny gasp threatened to pull Alya's attention, but she held fast by staring into Adrien's eyes. "I can't believe anything different." Adrien said earnestly. "Are you sure we shouldn't tell her? Surely she could be persuaded?"

"No. I'm afraid not. She's been sparing no time at all for romance. I practically have to torture her to even get her to so much as talk about theoretical crushes."

Adrien smiled weakly. "Well, I know you like doing that."

"Speaking of." _I'm sorry Marinette, I can't resist._ "You sure you're not _jealous_."

"Ha, if I'm smart!" Adrien laughed. "Marinette is so sharp, that wit of hers could be labelled a weapon. And she's such a kind and talented person. And Nino! Oh, there's not a soul alive who could find fault with him!" Alya licked her lips and arched her brow carefully. _Getting a little Shakespearean there, dude._ Adrien coughed to correct himself. "I'm just saying. And they're both artists! Music and fashion, sure, but still more creative than me. I just read the words others have already written, and wear the clothes others made for me." He took Alya's hand and looked deep into her eyes. Alya caught her breath, feeling as if he were staring _into_ her rather than at her. "Just think, if Marinette would give him a chance, they would be _amazing_ together, wouldn't they?"

"Well, sure." Alya answered. She hesitated, then took her hand back. _Don't want her thinking this is a secret dalliance behind her back or anything. That would undermine our perceived motivations in this._ "You know I'd love to see it." She shook her head. "Nino probably has more in common with her than I do. And you know I'd trust him to treat her well. Wouldn't trust anyone more, actually. But no, she'd never even entertain the idea. With Nino! I'm afraid he's already firmly stuck in the friend zone."

Adrien sighed, a little defeated, a little exhausted. "She wouldn't entertain it? Not even for a moment? Can't she at least consider him?"

"No, dude, she's way too oblivious to matters of love. The only way she'd notice is if we told her, and the moment we do it's bye-bye Nino. She knows what she wants – when it's time – and that's evidently not him."

"Can't it be, though?" Adrien grabbed her hand again and leaned towards her. "Can't it be? I don't want to see my best friend hurt."

Alya put her free hand on his shoulder. "I know, dude. Me neither. That's why not telling her is the best thing we can do. Nino's not going to do it – you know that. And sometimes having a crush is fun, right?" She grinned weakly, trying to be as hopeful as possible. "Let him enjoy the crush while it lasts, and let Marinette stay ignorant."

Adrien sighed. "I think it's already past that, but… I suppose you're right. Longing is nothing compared to heartbreak, huh?"

"I would imagine"

He shook his head sadly. His voice was despondent. "Well, if you're sure. I won't say anything. Let's talk about something else. When is Marinette getting here, again? We should head in soon."

"I'm not sure. She should be here already." Alya caught Adrien's eye and looked towards where Marinette should have come from, giving her a chance to leave hiding from the opposite side of their bench.

"H-hey guys!" Marinette's voice was squeaky and her face red. Alya smiled, resisting the impish impulse in her breast that tried to make her laugh. _Smooth, Marinette._ "Sorry I'm late. I, uh… got… lost! Yeah! Don't know _where_ my mind is today! Haha, ha."

"No worries, Marinette!" Adrien said cheerfully, all traces of pain and worry in his voice gone. "The movie doesn't start for another ten minutes, so we have plenty of time."

"Yeah!" Alya said. "Shall we go in?" She grabbed the door and held it open for her friends, and smirked and returned Adrien's passing wink as he followed Marinette into the cinema.

* * *

To Nino's increasing concern, the following weeks were filled with little to no shenanigans, and Alya and Adrien were paragons of good behavior. Mostly, anyway. There was the _one time_ when they replaced Chloé's designer handbag with a convincing replica just to see how long it would take before she noticed (she didn't until she found the original in her locker with a cheeky note, upon which she promptly freaked the heck out) but, in Alya's defense, it _was_ hilarious. But beyond that, they were good! Not a toe out of place.

They even cooled it on the Shakespeare references, for fear of Marinette figuring them out, and since they were still wisely avoiding _Pride and Prejudice_ (and indeed, Jane Austen just to be safe) after the Big Proposal, they had to think outside the box for their references, and the number of them fell fairly steeply because of it.

More than once, Alya caught Nino eyeing her or Adrien suspiciously, as if a quiet best friend was a plotting best friend or something. _Except we kind of are plotting, so…_

For his sake, Alya made a concerted effort to think of another tool to annoy him with. Something she and Adrien could share that would cover their suspicious lack of classic literature. The answer was quite simple and ironically presented itself when Nino confronted them about it.

"What are you guys up to?" Nino asked, arms and expression cross.

"What are we up to?" Adrien asked. "Nothing. Alya, are we doing anything?"

"I don't believe so. Why do you ask?"

"You two are suspicious. You haven't been quiet a day since you two started spending time together, and now you're all good behavior? I don't buy it. You're planning something."

Adrien and Alya shared a look, and Adrien was the one who started it. "Hey, Nino?" He smirked. "Can you tell me," Alya heard the sing-song lilting of his voice and didn't need any more than that to pick up on what Adrien was doing, "what is you're afraid of?"

Alya picked up the song, singing much more enthusiastically than Adrien, though still keeping with the tone of the musical. "Can you tell me why I'm afraid it's me?"

Adrien put a hand on Nino's shoulder when Nino covered his face. "Can I touch you? We've been fine for so long now-"

"Okay!" Nino said, cutting them off. "You're back to normal."

Alya snickered. "You mean we're…"

Adrien leaned in, and Alya joined him. " _Next to Normal_?"

Nino breathed in slowly. "Ain't that the truth."

Alya grinned at Adrien, and he grinned back, and their conversation from then on became much more musical in nature. It was that day, when they were sitting in class, humming quiet tunes from their favorite musicals – subtle enough that Nino wouldn't stop them, but they understood the purpose, which was to share what they were familiar with so they knew what they could use – that Alya realized the more she talked to Adrien, the more they shared.

Not even just what they had in common, which was a lot, but every new note brought another thing that was _theirs_. The entire theater was basically their inside joke, and they'd spent enough time talking that there was more than just that at that point, too. There was their mischievous natures. Alya wasn't one to turn down a good prank so long as no one was hurt, and Adrien was ecstatic to pull some shit he'd probably be murdered for at home, now that he had occasion. Both of them were a little impulsive – more than once someone would propose an idea and they'd run with it without even thinking (hence Nino being the reins holding them back on more than a few occasions).

Marinette was her best friend, of course. She'd always be Alya's confidant. She'd always be the one Alya goes back to and has feelings jams with.

But Adrien could make her laugh like no one else. Adrien could make her laugh and laugh with her until both of them were breathless and on their knees from exertion. Adrien matched and challenged Alya's knowledge of pretty much everything – literature, obviously, but also science, Ladybug, and all things related to the press. He was as much a fangirl of Ladybug as she was and was always not only listening but commenting and offering constructive insight when she talked about the Ladyblog. He was experienced with media from the opposite side and gave Alya advice on how her targets (such as Ladybug, mostly) might feel about what she did without trying to discourage her from doing it.

Every moment with Adrien was an adventure, and Alya loved every second of it.

And when she turned and saw Marinette, she felt bad. Deep in her gut, she felt guilty. It knotted up inside her and made her feel toxic. Because it should be Marinette hanging out with him. It should be Marinette getting to know him like Alya was. But she still couldn't pick up the nerve, and now Alya thought maybe she sabotaged that whole thing after all since Marinette was more and more lost in thought and unfocused, even in class when Adrien was right in front of her, after their little trap at the movie theater.

"Girl, you okay?" Alya asked in Marinette's room after Marinette had spent a good two minutes just staring at the screen and not actually pressing any buttons on her controller. "You've been out of it for a while now." She paused the game to give Marinette her full attention.

Marinette shot up, her spine straight as a rod. "F-fine! I'm absolutely perfect! No problems here! Hehe."

Alya arched her eyebrow, watching her dubiously. "Girl." She knew, obviously, what was up, but she didn't like seeing her best friend so out of it. _I'm kind of worried she'll walk right into the street and get hit or something. Obviously, we need to do something about it._

"Oh, okay." Marinette collapsed in on herself, curling up until she was downright diminutive. "It's just…" She fell back, laying on the floor. "Do you think it's hopeless with Adrien? I know you've been spending a lot of time with him, so… is there any hope at all?"

Alya wanted to say "no." She almost did, without thinking, before he caught herself. _No, you have to be careful. Even if you are playing for the Ninette train, which you're not obliged to do, you don't want her going to him as a second best. She has to decide it herself, not get told there's no chance._

She worried her lip for a moment, trying to find the right words. "I wouldn't say hopeless." _She heard you say you'd like to see her with Nino. So, she probably already thinks I'm not invested in her preferred ship. Which, I have to admit, I'm not. …Adrien's been clear, so I can't be._

"But you don't think it'll happen."

"It definitely won't if you don't get control of yourself." She said. "And, honestly Marinette, I do think you're a little too focused on him."

"Because it's hopeless." Her voice was hurt, empierced by a spear Alya felt the guilt for throwing.

"No, Marinette." Alya touched her best friend's shoulder, determined to set the score right. "No. It's not _hopeless_. All I'm saying is that you want to give him your heart, but you shouldn't promise it to him unless he accepts it." She smiled and poked Marinette deliberately in her chest. "It's yours. Not his. No matter how much you want him to have it, he hasn't taken it yet. It's still right there in your hands if someone else comes along."

Marinette's lips were a faint crescent, a little smile that betrayed not happiness, but an eye looking towards the future, and happiness found therein. "Someone else? Like who?"

"N-" Alya stopped herself. It would have been too easy to say it, to set her on that path, but the seed was already planted and if Alya disturbed it she would be betraying herself, and Adrien, and the plan they had made. "No one I know, I'm sure." She said with a smirk. "I'm not thinking of anyone in particular, I just want you happy, alright? Deserving or not, no one who won't accept it can hold your heart. Not really. Make sense?"

"Yeah. That makes sense." Marinette sighed. "I'm jealous of you, you know." Alya tried not to cringe. "Adrien loves you. I don't know whether it's _that_ way or not or… but it's clear he does."

"Well, if we're talking platonic, he loves you, too."

"It's not like you, though. I don't think I've ever seen him smile so much."

"Eh, we just joke around a lot. It's really no big deal."

Marinette was quiet for a long time. And Alya likewise sat in the thick silence. When Marinette looked Alya in the eye, Alya smiled at her and stared right back into her best friend's eyes. She would be, she was determined, a stalwart guide and helper for anything Marinette needed.

Eventually, Marinette spoke. "You know, ever since you two started being ridiculous, I've been thinking."

"That's a dangerous pastime, Marinette."

"Oh, shush." Marinette laughed gently. "I've just been thinking that Adrien isn't quite who I thought he was."

"He surprise you?"

"I guess." She was contemplative, like she wasn't convinced. "Like, in hindsight I'm not surprised at all. But I don't think I did expect just how… rambunctious he can be."

"Hey, Marinette?"

"Mhmm?"

"I'm going to let you in on a secret." Alya leaned in close to whisper. "I didn't expect it either." She pulled back and smiled. "He surprised me, too. But, I'm not complaining. I'm having a lot of fun."

"I'm glad you are." Something about Marinette's smile threw Alya off guard. She hesitated a little in the shock. "But… I don't know. That's all making me reconsider just _why_ I liked him in the first place, you know? Like, it's because he's so kind and patient and… and none of that changed, but it still seems like he's a different person than the one I first fell for." She paused for a moment. "Alya, why do you like him?"

"Why do I like him?" Alya chuckled. "Let's see. He's hilarious. He's optimistic and cheery and he's just kind of like a beacon, you know? He's really vibrant and creative and witty and passionate and he feels things so deeply, and I find that all so… interesting. Interesting, captivating… entertaining." She smiled. "That's why I l-" Alya tripped over that word for just a moment, as she stared off into space, reflective on her time with him. "Why I like him."

Marinette covered her face. "Geez, Alya." She sighed. "You're right. That's exactly who he is, isn't it?"

"Not at all! A collection of adjectives can't describe exactly who somebody is." Alya said. "They're just the ones that stand out to me. I'm actually looking forward to learning some more."

Marinette looked at her with an indecipherable message deep within her eyes, and Alya couldn't do anything but smile back.


	4. Chapter 4

Adrien's plan, miraculously, seemed to be working. Day by day, Marinette seemed to obsess less and less over Adrien. She stopped mentioning him so much, stopped asking how to impress him, reorganized her walls with more meaningful photos of him (though Alya couldn't say how significantly the actual quantity changed) than just from his photoshoots.

And Alya didn't know why, but she was relieved. She attributed it to Marinette acting a bit more like a sane human being and showing promising signs for future romantic endeavors if the creepier bits were being sanded down.

And of course, every time Alya and Adrien made plans to meet and talk about any next step, Nino joined them because they were apparently still not to be trusted alone. And if he was coming anyway, they my as well invite Marinette because at least that's maybe, possibly progress on the Ninette train and it's not like they ever wanted to exclude her anyway and also she was their friend so they had fun.

So, it wasn't that Alya wanted Nino and Marinette gone. She didn't. She loved their group hangouts. But she couldn't talk to Marinette about Nino and no one was _doing_ anything and she wanted to make something happen.

Of course, that just meant she'd need to get sneaky. _We'll have to fabricate something. Shouldn't be too hard. And we'll meet up on our own and talk about everything because texts just aren't cutting it anymore._

Alya and Adrien sandwiched their best friends on the sofa as they played video games together, and Alya noticed how Marinette pressed against her, about as far from accidentally touching Nino as she could get, and she tried to split her attention by simultaneously thinking about that and focusing on the game and ended up figuring out nothing and losing a life for her troubles.

Adrien exclaimed something about protecting her, so she doubled down and focused on the game. _There will be time for that kind of stuff later._ She thought. _For now, just have fun._

And she did, for a while. But even with focus she wasn't nearly as good at the game as the others, and so she was eliminated and was letting her eyes wander the room.

It was probably because her mind was on Marinette that she thought of it, but her eyes landed on a door that had to lead to his closet. She grinned. "Hey, Adrien?"

"Mmm?" He was staring intently at the screen, sticking his tongue out in that cute way Marinette sometimes did when she was concentrating hard on something.

"I'm going to go raid your closet."

"Mmm."

While Adrien's response was just an affirmative hum, Marinette practically threw her controller in the air at the mention of Adrien's no-doubt designer wardrobe. While Adrien typically dressed relatively normally – save for expensive fabrics which he probably couldn't even help – none of them doubted that the depths of his closet would hide goodies any aspiring designer would love to get a look at.

Alya was already halfway across the room.

The game made a sound, indicating someone died, and Marinette groaned. Another death toll immediately after, and Nino exclaimed in victory.

Alya reached for the closet handle.

"Wait." Adrien said. It wasn't an order, so Alya didn't think to stop. It was more of a realization which Alya also didn't stop to consider.

She turned the doorknob.

"Wait!"

That one was imperative, but Alya had already pulled the door open far enough to look inside.

She didn't really have time to _notice_ anything, but still when Adrien sprinted to her and grabbed her arm he yanked her _into_ the closet with him instead of shutting the door with her outside.

"Adrien, what the hell?" She asked, hearing shuffling as he fumbled for the light switch.

"I… uh…" The light flickered on and Adrien grinned sheepishly at her. "Forgot about the Ladybug stuff." He said quietly, so Nino and Marinette wouldn't hear.

Alya snickered and turned to the little black-spotted shrine in the room. It wasn't _really_ a shrine in so many words, but it may as well have been. There was a big poster of Ladybug on the wall, next to a vanity (thankfully not Ladybug themed in itself), and all sorts of toys – dolls, action figures, all Ladybug or Chat Noir themed – were on the vanity itself, practically hiding all his makeup.

"Dude." She said, also in a whisper for his own sake. "It's not a big deal. I've seen worse." She thought to the height of Marinette's stalker phase of her crush and shook her head. "A lot worse."

"Still." Adrien said. His voice was a little high-pitched. "Don't tell them."

Alya rolled her eyes and walked over to it. The clothes in the nearby corner, she found, were also all Ladybug themed. And those she rifled through partially out of interest (there were some pieces she'd never seen before, so she figured he had to either commission some or had different paraphernalia stops in his particular economic class) and partially to tease him. "I won't." She assured him.

A soft knock on the door make Adrien yelp. "Dude?" Nino said. "What was that about?"

Adrien frantically held a hand to his lips. Alya shook her head. "Well, what do you want to tell them, then?" She asked, bringing him close so they could whisper quietly.

"I don't know! Think of something!"

"Ugh, well, first of all, do something about that." She pointed to the vanity and all the Ladybug paraphernalia thereupon. "I'll figure something out. Quick."

"What about Nino?"

Alya tapped her foot for a second, then called out. "Hold on a moment, dude!" She grabbed a not-quite-so-expensive looking jacket off a hanger and dropped it on the floor. "Just a mess in here is all! Give us a sec to sort it out!"

Adrien's eyes went wide and he pulled his lips back in horror, as if offended at what she had done.

She just shrugged and smirked at him and pulled a t-shirt down to throw into the opposing wall.

He shook his head, snapping himself out of it, and carefully pulled down the big poster and rolled it up. Alya quickly rifled through his clothes, finding a few things she wouldn't feel bad about throwing around and stumbling across a few more _interesting_ items along the way, though for the sake of their time limit she let them pass. _For now._

Finally, the closet had been roughed up just enough to make it convincing that it _had_ been bad, and the most egregious Ladybug stuff was hidden away, and Adrien caught her arm before she could go to the door. "They're not going to believe it." He hissed.

Another knock. "Uh, guys?" Nino's voice had an edge of worry to it. "Are you okay in there?"

She pulled Adrien to the back of the closet and reached behind some pants as she snickered and said, "If they don't, you need something embarrassing to satisfy that reaction."

Adrien's eyes followed her hand and his face turned bright red. "Oh my god."

She pulled out what she was looking for, a red plaid skirt what would no doubt be more than enough explanation for why Adrien wouldn't want someone to search his closet unguided. That wasn't the only incriminating article, but it was by far the easiest to explain, even if it was an embarrassing explanation.

"I-I can explain."

Alya giggled and held a finger to her lips. "Later. If they buy the mess you can explain in private." He flushed and nodded and Alya hid the skirt and opened the door with a smile. "Don't worry!" She laughed. "We're coming out of the closet."

Nino shook his head. "Girl, we already know you're bi."

"Sorry about the mess." She grinned, ignoring his comment. "We did what we could in the time we had. Still, Adrien's embarrassed about it." She gestured to him, and as he was still blushing and pointedly not looking at her, he pretty effectively sold the embarrassed bit.

"We can tell." Nino said. "But, why? It's just a messy closet."

"Dude, have you seen the rest of his room?" She gestured around her. "Place is spotless! Just entertain him." Adrien covered his face in his hands.

Nino shook his head again and sighed. "Well, whatever. Bro, you think Marinette could take a look?" He put his hand on her shoulder. "Might be fun, right?"

 _You have no idea._

Adrien looked to Alya with panicked eyes. And she thought fast to prevent anyone, especially Marinette from actually digging through his clothes and finding the paraphernalia _or_ his embarrassing items. "How about a fashion show instead? That'd be way more fun."

"Yeah! That's a great idea, Alya!" Adrien exclaimed. "We'll go in and plan some outfits and I'll model for you guys, alright?"

Nino pursed his lips suspiciously, but Marinette looked like she was on cloud nine. At her eager squealing, Nino smiled and relented. "Alright. But we're going to make ourselves at home while you hide in there."

"Oh, please do." Adrien said with a grin. "Alya, come help me."

They retreated together into the closet and chuckled once the door was closed.

"Oh, my god." Adrien said. "I can't believe that worked."

"Okay, now care to explain while I find your first outfit?"

He immediately flushed all over again. "Look, it's not- that is… it's just a skirt! It's not weird!"

"You're the one acting like it's weird, dude."

"You… that's it?" He sounded incredulous. "No judgement, or…"

"For what? It's a skirt." Alya closed one eye and framed Adrien with her fingers. "And a good one, too. It'd look great with…" She turned to the rest of his clothes and started flicking through them. "I know I saw it… Ah! This!" She leaned down to scoop the pink t-shirt off the ground. "Don't you think? Oh, and throw this on top!" She grabbed a grey cardigan off a hanger.

Adrien opened his mouth for a moment, then thought better of it and shut it. After another moment he said, "That's kind of Marinette's color scheme, isn't it? Pink and grey. The red is a good accent, though. She should probably wear more red."

"Adrien."

"Yeah?"

"There's no judgement, but I am curious."

"Ah, right." He chuckled. "Well, I'm a model. Even if it's not usually my style, I do jump that androgynous boundary sometimes. Wore a skirt once, well, sort of a skirt. It was all fashion forward or whatever, but point is it was really fun. Sometimes I put one on and just…" He rotated his hips playfully. "Whoosh."

"Dude, you need a fringe skirt."

"Oh, my god, that would be _amazing_."

They shared a laugh and Alya examined him closely. "So, why the embarrassment?"

"W-well." He rubbed his neck awkwardly. "I know most people generally kind of conform to their gender thing and I guess I was worried that people who aren't really in the industry wouldn't understand why I even first tried? And even less why I have some just in my closet. I never wear them in public because of that, but… well… I've never had a friend who I could just play dress-up with, except Chloé, and she's seen me in more feminine stuff than _that_ so…"

Alya just laughed. "Dude, I love you."

Adrien flushed. "I- you- what?" He squeaked.

"We're definitely dressing you up in the most ridiculous things you're comfortable with, you know that, right?"

Adrien let a tentative grin find its way to his lips, and he started shining again, like the curve of those lips was the moon that provided all the light in the dark of night. "Hit me with your best shot." He said.

"Oh, that's a challenge, bro." She grinned devilishly and threw the shirt and cardigan at him. "Feeling brave?"

He looked down at the clothes in his hands, then grinned and nodded. "Who's going to stop us?"

 _That's practically our motto._ "Oh, one thing." She said before he could start stripping.

"Yeah?"

"There was one other thing I saw that I wanted to ask about."

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Yeah. It was right…" She turned and dug through a drawer until she found the article in question. "Here!" She held it up proudly and looked at Adrien's red face through the neon green fishnet of the shirt.

He put the other clothes aside and took it from her. "Oh, haha, that." He grinned. "Mostly a joke. Also never actually worn in public. Kind of love it, though."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I'd wear it for y'all if it fits into your master outfit planning."

"Who's going to stop us?" She asked with a grin. Then she shook her head. "But not for the show. Have _some_ mercy on Marinette's poor soul."

"Oh. Right. Well." He tossed her the shirt and pulled the hem of his currently worn shirt up over his head, swiftly removing it.

Then, it was Alya's turn to blush. She quickly raised a hand to cover her eyes. "Lord." She muttered.

Silence, then a laugh. "What?" Adrien asked. "You can look, Alya. I'm a model, remember? I change in front of people all the time. And it's not like that shirt's going to hide anything, anyway."

She felt him take the shirt from her hand before she dared peek through her fingers. And he was right. It hid nothing. He may as well have been standing in front of her shirtless, except that probably would have been better because the bright fishnet just seemed a little… lascivious.

And then he _smirked_. And then he _winked_. And Alya was feeling just a little hot under the collar. _Is this what Marinette feels like?_

And Adrien laughed that loud, uninhibited, from-the-belly laugh that Alya loved and she snickered and laughed right along with him. At his ensemble, at her own embarrassment. Through his giggles, he said, "Are you _sure_ I shouldn't wear this for them?" His question was teasing, not sincere. Alya wondered if he even wanted to.

Because Alya wanted to say yes. She wanted to send him out there for everyone to see because it was such a strange look on him and it was funny, but also, somewhere in her chest, she wanted to say no. It was too revealing, too much, and then it wouldn't be their…

She shook her head roughly. _No. That's it. It's too revealing._ In answer, she settled on, "I would totally encourage it if you want to. But remember _you're_ the one trying to get Marinette to _stop_ crushing on you. Fair warning, that's not going to help."

He snickered. "You're probably right. Alright, back to the skirt." He shook his head and pulled the fishnet off of him and gave it back to her and Alya was _relieved_ because even though Adrien was still _really attractive_ he at least wasn't wearing anything to call attention to it.

But he gave up really easily. After all, no one was going to _stop_ them from sending him out scantily clad and loving life. And he would – he would pull it off and he would laugh and laugh and laugh at Nino's face (though he would apologize to Marinette). But he didn't. He handed it back to her and turned to throw on the pink t-shirt and pull his pants down and, _Oh, shit._

Alya spun on her heel, now blushing furiously. She knew he wouldn't strip _entirely_ but she still was not prepared for that. To disguise her sudden movement, she went to put the fishnet back and continue rifling through the clothes in front of her.

But… it wasn't like the skirt wasn't a little on the flirty side. And yet, when that came up it was "who's going to stop us." It wasn't like the proposal wasn't flirty and they still did that. _Why does_ that _bother me, of all things?_

She shook her head and found another cardigan and examined it for a moment before turning back to Adrien. "Hey, dude? You said that was Marinette's color scheme, yeah?"

"Well, yeah." He said, gesturing to his outfit. "Look at it."

"And you're still on the Ninette train."

"Of course."

"So… how about Marinette pink and some bold best boy blue?" She held up the cardigan with a smile.

Adrien's face morphed into a crooked, ecstatic grin. "Bold best boy blue! Oh, my god! Yes! It's perfect!"

He switched outerwear and spun in place for Alya, giggling all the while and muttering "bold best boy blue" to himself.

Alya examined him closely, trying not to stare at his legs (she didn't think she'd ever seen his legs exposed before. He always wore long pants, as far as she could recall) and nodded her approval of the outfit. _Not exactly designer in how it's put together but… who's going to stop us?_ "You're ready dude. Now come out of the closet already."

Adrien laughed again, the joyous, unrestrained one. "Alya!" Together they stood at the door, giggling to themselves, and Alya turned the handle and they walked out and Nino caught sight of them and his jaw dropped and Marinette saw them and she flushed and froze like a deer in headlights.

Adrien stepped forward, sportive smirk on his lips and swishing skirt on his hips, and he winked at Nino at the end of his impromptu catwalk before spinning and sashaying back to Alya at the closet door.

They stood side by side, watching their best friends, for a while. And for a while neither of the two on the sofa seemed capable of saying anything. And then Nino sighed and said, "I really should have expected this."

"And this is just my first look." Alya said with a wink of her own. "Wait 'til you see the rest of my collection."

"I'm actually kind of frightened now."

And then Marinette started giggling uncontrollably. "Pfft. Let them have their fun, Nino. I, for one, am excited to see the rest of this collection."

He shrugged. "Well, alright then."

 _The longer this goes on, the more I think Adrien's right about his crush. He's… kind of whipped, not going to lie._ Adrien met her eyes and smirked and she knew he was thinking something along the same lines.

With less conversation between outfits, and the coordination of the two of them in choosing them, they knocked out the next few looks much faster than the first one. Even Alya dressed up in a few things when they found clothes that would work with her (She was nearly the same height as him, but her curves disagreed with clothes designed for slim men like Adrien).

After the first few outfits, though, they stopped trying to actually coordinate and instead tried to find the most discordant pieces they could. Anything and everything that would make Adrien's father's eyes bleed – and indeed even though Marinette laughed at them every time, even she couldn't help the shocked and disgusted look that appeared when they _dared_ try those combinations.

They laughed, they played, they sang, and when they were winding down, preparing to leave, Adrien pulled Alya back into the closet one last time as he changed back into his normal clothes. "So," he said, "how do you think that train is going?"

Alya tutted. "Well, I'm believing Nino likes her more and more every minute, but unfortunately he's not the problem here."

"Oh, well, good. It would be really bad if she asked him out because of what we did and he turned her down."

Alya slapped his arm. "You're just now thinking of that?"

"Well… you said he likes her, too! It's not just me!"

She scoffed. "That's true. What do you think about the state of the train?"

Adrien hummed. "Well, I think Nino finally got it through his head that you're not captaining that steamship anymore." Alya nodded along. "And, actually, he gave us a few looks that are starting to make me think he thinks we're both on an airplane."

Alya arched her brow. "What airplane?"

"The Alyadrien." He blushed and rubbed his neck.

Alya didn't know what to say to that. Eventually, she just settled for, "Dude."

Adrien tilted his head. "What?"

"Marinette's my best friend."

"Yeah, and?"

"And she has a crush on you, dummy! Unless that steamship sinks _and_ Marinette is cool with it, that airplane ain't even being built. You realize how messed up that would be."

"Haha." He ran his hand through his hair and looked away to the floor. "Yeah. Right? I have no idea where his head is. You'd never do something like that."

Alya shook her head in disbelief. "Like, it's as impossible as Ladybug. No matter what we actually think."

Adrien didn't respond, so Alya furrowed her brow and thought about her words. _Uh, wait, that might have been a little…_ "Ha, yeah." Adrien said, just a little dully. Alya didn't know what to think about that. Then he faced her and smiled like nothing happened. "So long as the steamship is afloat it's ridiculous to even think about it."

Alya fought the urge to grimace. Something about his behavior was a little too stiff, a little too formal, and Alya didn't like it. Not one bit. Because he was her friend and she knew how sensitive he was and even though they didn't do feelings jams quite like either of them did with their respective best friends they still learned a lot about each other and Alya knew when something didn't sit right with him and she worried that maybe… maybe she'd implied too much, or maybe he _did_ like her that way and realized it wouldn't work, or maybe he didn't but was sad because the clear rejection of their particular mode of transportation implied more to him than just a rejection of romance.

She furrowed her brow. "Adrien."

And Adrien was normal, but Alya knew he was an excellent actor. "Right." He said. "The train. I can't say with any certainty, but I think Marinette is warming up to it. They were sitting pretty close towards the end of our fashion show. You notice that?"

Alya frowned, but for once just wasn't brave enough to say anything. She didn't know exactly what caused Adrien's reaction, and if she handled it wrong she'd only make it worse, and… well, her position in it was obvious. It wasn't like she had a choice in the matter. She hadn't even thought of it, though she understood how they could be seen that way. They did just spend a couple hours ransacking his closet together – while forbidding anyone else from entering, at that.

And Alya felt guilty, because if that was what Nino thought, what did Marinette think? She hadn't done anything wrong, but she realized she was getting very close to him, when her goal from the start was supposed to be to get _Marinette_ close to him, and that felt a little like a betrayal.

"Yeah." She said honestly. "I did notice that."

They left the room and rejoined Marinette and Nino and Nino announced he needed to go and so Adrien walked him to the door while Alya and Marinette relaxed in Adrien's room. "We should leave, soon, too." Alya said. "I'm going to need to look after the girls tonight."

Marinette hummed noncommittally. Alya turned to look directly at her. "What's up?"

Marinette wriggled uncomfortably. "You looked like you had a lot of fun today."

"So did you." She smiled. "So?"

"I'm just… a little jealous you got to go in the closet, I guess!"

Alya laughed. "Don't worry about it. I only got in because I already saw what he has in there."

Marinette cast a glance towards the door and leaned in close. "Like what?"

"Skirts, for one." Alya said teasingly. "Believe it or not, he was _super_ embarrassed when I first saw that."

"No, way! He was so confident wearing them!"

"Yeah but that was after I talked to him. He was terrified of what we'd think."

"Is that why you took so long?"

Alya thought back to the green fishnet shirt and snickered. "Yeah. Mostly."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad he felt comfortable enough with us to show us."

"You and me both, girl." Alya nudged her playfully.

"And… um…" Marinette said. "Do you… do you think Nino…"

Alya raised her brow. "Do I think he what?"

Marinette shook her head roughly and covered her face. "Do you think he might maybe have a crush on me?"

 _Oh._

 _Oh, damn. I didn't expect her to ask me about it._

The door clicked open, and Alya turned to see Adrien reenter. "What are we talking about?" He asked.

Alya didn't mean to answer. It just came out. Since she'd talked about it so much with Adrien, and she wasn't really thinking, she kind of forgot that he wasn't supposed to be involved. "Marinette's wondering if Nino has a crush on her."

"Alya!" Marinette squealed.

"Oh, ffff- sorry, Marinette."

Adrien laughed. "Marinette, he thinks you're _awesome_."

Alya caught his eye and mirrored his grin. _Perfect._ "Yeah. Definitely." She winked overtly at Adrien, not even trying to hide it from Marinette as she started singing. "He said, there's nothing like your smile sort of subtle and perfect and real."

Marinette smiled, and Alya had to appreciate how accurate their choice of song was. Adrien grinned and plopped down on the couch next to them, singing to Marinette like Alya did. "He said, you never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel."

"I get it." Marinette said. "But guys, I'm serious."

"Well," Adrien said, forgoing their musical interlude. "If he does, what would you do?"

Marinette worried her lip. "I don't know." She looked to Adrien. "He must have said something to you."

Adrien grinned. "And if he did, I would have been sworn to secrecy. But I can say this: Alya and I, we saw the same things you did that made you think he had a crush."

"So, you think he does, too?"

Alya sighed. "Which brings us back to what you're going to do." She said.

Marinette groaned and covered her face. "Well, I can't just say no!"

"Sure, you can!" Adrien said casually. He grabbed Alya's hand and pulled her to her feet. "It's as simple as this!" He cleared his throat for effect. "In such cases as this, it is, I belie-"

Marinette cut him off with a high-pitched squeal. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

Adrien laughed. "I'm sorry, Marinette. I just mean that how you feel matters too. Don't just go along with it or string him along because he's your friend."

"But," Alya said, "if you do feel inclined to return his feelings…"

Adrien smiled. "Definitely an avenue worth exploring, don't you think?"

Marinette frowned. "You think so?"

"Definitely! You're both such creative people, I've already seen how you inspire each other!"

"Not to mention," Alya added, "Marinette pink goes well with red and bold best boy blue."

Adrien and Marinette both giggled, and Adrien said, "And you're already close friends! You know how to talk to each other, and you know what the other likes and dislikes and tolerates."

"You have inside jokes." Alya said.

"Like how done you are with _our_ inside jokes."

"And your parents love him."

"And he loves your parent's cooking!" Adrien laughed. "Oh, and your parents, too."

Marinette tapped her chin for a moment. "You really believe all that?"

"Girl!" Alya said. "All that's just fact. If you want our opinions, we've got those, too. Right, Adrien?"

She grinned, and he grinned, and he started telling her just what their opinions were. He and Alya tag-teamed the entire conversation, and though they weren't necessarily trying to (overtly) encourage Marinette to date Nino, they were quite clear that she should consider the possibility, and through all their flowery adjectives Alya thought that message got through to Marinette.

And Marinette became very contemplative, and Alya realized that for this conversation, she was listening and talking to Adrien like he was any other person in the world, and she looked to Adrien and saw that he realized that, too, and there was a spark in his eye that betrayed his eagerness. More than a few times, she had to interrupt Adrien because he was getting dangerously close to just telling her to date Nino already (something neither of them had business saying in so many words) or revealing something of their shenanigans that should be on a strictly need-to-know basis.

And though they could give their opinions on how great Nino and Marinette were and how well they'd fit together literally all day, it was already about time to leave when they started, so their tirade was unfortunately cut short, and Marinette smiled and thanked them and Alya walked with Marinette out of Adrien's home and together they headed over to Alya's place.

Once the twins were in bed, Marinette said something that Alya didn't expect. It caught her off guard and left her confused and scared and speechless and guilty and _guilty_. Alya had just returned from her little sisters' room and just before her butt hit the sofa, Marinette said, "I don't think Nino's the only one of the boys with a crush."


	5. Chapter 5

"I don't think Nino's the only one of the boys with a crush." Marinette had said.

"What?" Alya had dumbly responded.

Marinette _giggled_. "I admit I'm jealous. But if it's you, I can't be mad."

"What?" Alya repeated, a little more forcefully.

"Come now, Alya. With how much you make fun of me for being oblivious, you _can't_ have missed it!"

"What?"

"Adrien likes you!"

Alya paused a moment to consider that, but no thoughts actually went through her head. Instead, she just responded once again after a quiet pause. "What?"

"Alya! Come on! I'm serious."

She shook her head. "You think…" _Adrien likes me?_ Something pulled in her gut and she felt just a little nauseous. "No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Nope. No. Nah, no, nope. Uh-uh."

"Alya…"

"Nope! Haha, geez, Marinette. No! No, no, no! What are you even thinking?!"

Marinette grabbed her by the shoulders, and Alya found herself face to face with her best friend. "Alya. Didn't you see how he looked at you?"

"No! Girl, there is no way I've _seduced_ your man! Just, no!"

Marinette sighed and shook her head. "Well, not on purpose, obviously. But I, of all people, know that the heart wants what it wants." She shrugged. "And you two do get along really well."

"Yeah, we get along. We're friends. Friendly friends who are friends."

Marinette's scrutinizing gaze trapped Alya in her seat, but nonetheless she squirmed. "Alya," Marinette said carefully, "I know you don't want him to like you because you're worried about me. And thank you for that. But seriously? There's _nothing_ going on, intentional or otherwise?"

Alya took a deep breath and stilled herself. _Of course not._ She thought. _Obviously, there's nothing going on, I wouldn't let anything go on. But… that's not really what she's asking. And speaking of, Adrien mentioned something similar with Nino, didn't he? Hmm…_ "Of course not." She said. "Though Adrien did mention he thought Nino suspected something." _And he acted a little distant when I struck down the idea. Just for a minute, but I didn't imagine it._

"He does."

"What?" Alya frowned and brought her attention back to Marinette.

"Nino told me when you two were in the closet together." Marinette shrugged. "Well, he didn't say the word 'crush' so much as imply that you two were flirting a lot and were quite literally changing clothes together."

Alya shook her head. "Okay, one, Adrien is a model. Changing is a non-issue. And we both looked away anyway. And two, have you ever known either of us _not_ to flirt?"

Marinette giggled again. "You're right, of course. I'm only saying I suspect Adrien might like you a little more than you think."

"And you seem remarkably okay with that." Alya crossed her arms. "What's up, girl? Whether he does or doesn't, you think he does and you're not freaking out."

"I've…" Marinette froze for a second, and then looked away and blushed. "I've been thinking about what you said is all. About not hanging all my hopes on him." She shook her head roughly. "And anyway, he's still my friend. And you're my friend too. If being together would make you two happy, then I'm nothing but supportive."

"Uh-uh, girl. We ain't Schuyler sistering up this joint. I will have _zero_ self-sacrificing, noble, altruistic sentiments in my own home. You like him, and you're the one who's going to get him." Alya hissed. "At least until the point comes where he explicitly turns you down or you move on. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Unless you're one-hundred percent okay with this stupid airplane, _and_ the SS Adrinette had been officially reported sunk, I will entertain no thoughts on the subject."

Marinette pursed her lips. "I thought there were no noble, altruistic sentiments here, Angelica."

"There aren't. I don't like him romantically."

Marinette narrowed her eyes. "Don't you?"

"Of course not. I've never so much as considered the possibility. And I'm still not."

"Consider the possibility, then."

"Hell, no!"

"Why not? I'm considering other possibilities!"

Alya crossed her arms and pouted. "It's not the same and you know it."

"But if I tell you to, then there's no problem."

Alya groaned.

Marinette hummed softly. "Why don't you want to think about it?"

Alya grimaced. "Simply put: I don't want anything to go wrong."

"To… go wrong?" Marinette furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

"You've already claimed him, girl. Whether you say so or not, that hasn't changed yet." Alya shook her head slowly. "And if I think about it… I'm… scared that I _will_ like him. And if I do that, then I've got to either Angelica or Eliza you, and I don't want us to be in that position. So, I'm just not."

Marinette pursed her lips and tapped her chin for a while. She examined Alya closely, and finally said, "How about a challenge?"

Alya narrowed her eyes. "What kind of challenge?"

"Think of it as a pre-date." Alya furrowed her brow. "Since neither of us are sure how we feel about the boys. I'll ask out Nino – just as a friend, though we'll be alone. You do the same with Adrien."

Alya raised her brow. "You trust me alone with Adrien?"

Marinette snickered. "I'll make an exception this time." She shook her head and smiled good-naturedly. "Anyway, each of us will have our date, and then we meet up again and talk it over. Okay?"

"Uh, no." Alya said. "That still has the same problem."

"That's why it's a challenge." Marinette smirked and leaned in close to her. "I'm throwing down the gauntlet, Alya. You going to pick it up or what?"

Alya gritted her teeth. "That's not fair."

"You have to think it over. You have to at least consider it. That's what makes this a challenge."

Alya huffed. "Then I refuse. I won't do anything, not even think it, until you're all squared away."

Marinette groaned and pulled off her shoe and threw it to the floor at Alya's feet. Alya just picked it up and arched her brow at her best friend. Marinette crossed her arms defiantly. "I'm not wearing any gloves."

Alya clutched the shoe tighter when she realized what had happened. _Damn it._

Marinette smirked, obviously recognizing that Alya had thought it through. "But, you picked it up. You're stuck now. No backing out."

"This isn't a gauntlet, Marinette. And we're not knights."

"It's a foot gauntlet! And that hasn't stopped you before!"

 _Damn. She's got me there._ "Ugh! Fine!" Alya threw the shoe back at Marinette and sighed. "I'll play your game.

"And, to make sure there's no weaseling out of this, we'll arrange each other's dates."

Alya almost choked on her own spit. _I've trained her too well. She's seeing all the loopholes before I can take them._

Marinette chuckled smugly. "And, obviously, no telling the boys."

Alya glared at Marinette. Marinette just smirked and nodded to herself. "You have the rest of this week to plan, and then next week we're doing the dates."

"I hate you sometimes."

"You love me."

"I do, but you're being way too devious."

"This coming from _you_. Plan something good for me, okay?" Marinette chirped happily.

Alya groaned and got to work. _There's no backing out of this one. When Marinette sets her mind on something…_

* * *

 _It needs to be romantic but not overtly so. This is still the pre-game. Marinette hasn't decided how she feels about him yet, so I don't want to throw Nino into the rose petals, even if it would be so satisfying._

 _Too bad there's no concerts next week. Those two would enjoy that. Still, not a bad angle. I don't want to go too clubby, though… maybe ditch the music and go with something more cultured? Well, not that music isn't cultured. Point being: art._

 _I guess I could go simple and just send them to the Louvre, or another museum. But that's boring. Got to get a_ little _more creative than that. Especially for my creative couple of pals. So… oh, I know. We'll go with the museum trip. But they also have to go people watching afterwards._

 _And that's fine for a first date. No need to get too complicated with it. I just want something that'll inspire them both and get them both in that creative headspace they both shine so well in._

 _Meanwhile, Marinette is probably planning for us to go find André's ice cream or something. Oh, well. I'll just take it as it comes._

The end of the week came by in a flurry, and Alya had gleaned no details about her sort of date until Saturday night. She almost didn't dare think of what kind of shenanigans Marinette might have planned for her. Yet, when the time came and Marinette smiled sweetly at her and told her just what she'd need to do, she thought she heard incorrectly.

"Invite him over for dinner."

Alya blinked dumbly. "What?" The felt like she couldn't have heard right. It was way too simple. Too inconspicuous. Too… something she'd normally do. _Though, granted I haven't ever just had Adrien over._

"Invite him for dinner!" Marinette chirped. "And just hang out."

Alya narrowed her eyes. "That's so basic."

Marinette shrugged. "That's not the important part. The important part is you actually thinking about it in the right context. But fine. You're making dinner, too."

Alya crossed her arms. "Again, girl. Basic."

"When did you say your family will be out? He can go over and you two can hang out all evening."

Alya shrugged. "Alright. Simple enough. I'll invite him over tomorrow." Marinette grinned mischievously. Alya pursed her lips and shook her head. "Okay, well, you're going to a museum. Pick your poison on that. Then hang around the city and go people watching."

Marinette furrowed her brow. "Really? Huh. Alright. That actually sounds nice!"

Alya snickered. "What were you expecting?"

"What were _you_ expecting?"

"That's fair." She crossed her arms and tapped her foot a little. "Marinette, are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely!"

"You do realize you could be ruining your chances with him, right? Even if this doesn't end with us together, if I'm supposed to be treating this like a date… well… you know how I am. I'm flirty anyway – you really want me to dial it up?"

Marinette sighed and smiled. "Alya, listen to me. I'm going on a date with Nino. Sort of, anyway. Of course, I still like Adrien, but I think I've gotten past being possessive of him."

"That's not the issue, girl."

"Just go with it, okay? I'm the one who pushed us both to do this. I know what I'm doing."

"Are you sure about that?" Alya arched her eyebrow skeptically. "Because you have a history of jealousy."

"I do not!"

"No shade, girl, but that is a blatant lie."

Marinette hesitated, then said, "Okay, maybe I have, but just trust me, alright?" She sighed. "I feel like… like I actually have a chance with Nino. Adrien's not interested. That much, at least, is clear. And maybe that could change if I really tried, but… I'm not sure how much I want to try anymore. Honestly, if this week works out, then I'd be totally happy with the outcome."

"That's a lot of factors you're depending on."

"Yeah, but I've got a good feeling about it!"

Alya just laughed and shook her head and the two kept chatting and chatting and after school that day, Marinette texted Nino to make plans first, as a show of good faith (not that Alya would back out of a deal once made, even if she wasn't thrilled about it), and Alya upheld her end of the bargain as well. Then, it was a matter of waiting.

* * *

"Adrien!" Alya grinned when she answered the door. "So glad you could make it!"

He smiled back and walked inside at her beckoning. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." He said.

Alya chuckled. "Yeah. I feel like we've gone to your place quite a bit, but you never come over here. I hope you're ready to cook."

"Cook?" He tilted his head questioningly. "I can't say I've done much of that. Isn't it a little early, though?"

Alya chuckled. "It'll take like an hour to cook, not including prep time. Got to prepare it early otherwise you'll a hungry boy."

"I don't like being a hungry boy."

"Mhmm. Didn't think so. Now come on."

Adrien laughed and followed her into the kitchen, examining all the ingredients she had laid out. "What are we making?" He asked, examining the octopus tentacles with just a little concern.

"Fricassée de chatrou." Alya answered.

Adrien jumped in alarm. "Chaton?!"

Alya laughed and smacked his arm casually. "No, silly. _Chatrou_. Poulpe."

"Oh. _Poulpe_." Adrien sighed and laughed. He pointed to the octopus on the table. "Makes sense. Creole word?"

"Mhmm."

"Yeesh. I was worried for a second that you were going to cook Chat Noir."

"Not yet, Adrien. Not yet." She grinned. "He's way too lean. We'd need to fatten him up, first."

"Excuse me?"

Alya just laughed until Adrien joined in. "Chat Noir must be touched you care so much about his safety." Alya teased as she got started cleaning the tentacles in the sink.

"What, because I don't want him to be _eaten_?" Adrien countered. "So touched."

Alya shrugged. "Probably says something, though, that your first thought on hearing _chaton_ was Chat Noir, and not, you know, an _actual_ cat."

"I would totally not be okay if we were cooking actual cat, either." He shook his head roughly. "No, no, no, no, no. No. I'm sorry, but I could not be friends with someone who _eats cats_."

"Oh, relax. It's just a sea cat." Alya put the tentacles onto a cutting board and started chopping. "Can you start cutting that onion?"

"Hm? Oh, sure." He stuck his tongue out as he carefully chopped up the onion as Alya directed. She laughed at him a little – she would totally have had it done infinitely quicker, but Adrien was careful and precise, and maybe a little worried about messing it up, and she was happy to let him help at his own pace.

"So," She said, "you don't cook much?"

"No." Adrien said. "Dad hires a cook. Even if I wanted to, I'd only get in his way. And, well, he's paid to cook, not babysit. I don't want to make his job harder."

Alya hummed. "Huh. I can't imagine. This is basically my responsibility around here."

"Really?" Adrien asked. "Isn't your mom a professional cook?"

"Which is exactly why she's not doing that at home." Alya chuckled. "She taught me, but beyond that she basically only cooks for special occasions. And Dad… well, he didn't pick up as much from Mom as I did."

Adrien chuckled along with her. "So, if you're good enough for your mom, you must be a pretty amazing cook, huh? Why haven't I had anything you've made before?"

"Again, you've never come over for dinner. Why do you think I'm fixing that right now?" She grinned at him. "We simply cannot let you go without having tried some real food."

"Oh, and does this sea cat qualify?"

Alya shrugged. "It's a little typical, it'll do."

Adrien looked horrified. "No offence, Alya, but I'm not sure I'd call octopus in anything _typical_."

"What?" She laughed. "Never had octopus before?"

"I have, but it's not _typical_."

Alya shook her head and tutted. Somewhere, in another part of the city, she imagined her mother smiled. "What is your dad feeding you?"

"Oh, don't act like it's chicken or something."

Alya shrugged, maintaining her stern composure. "We come from an island, remember? It basically is."

"Mhmm." He replied doubtfully. "If you say so."

She let herself chuckle. "Well, spend enough time here and you'll get used to it." She grinned and winked at him.

He grinned. "I'm sure I will. Just so long as you don't serve me _chaton_."

"Aw, honey, don't worry. I'm not going to feed you your hero."

He shrugged, but his expression never fell even as he said, "Well, if anyone could filet him it'd be you."

"He'd have to do something _pretty_ stupid for me to roast him that much." She snickered.

Adrien giggled uncontrollably. "I can't even imagine the kind of shenanigan he'd need to cook up for you to do that."

"Oh, none he'd do on purpose. But you know how it is. Sometimes the dice fall, and you're out of the frying pan and into the fryer."

They both cackled so much that Adrien couldn't keep chopping up the ingredients Alya was giving him. "Why am I not over here more often?" He gasped.

"Why indeed." Alya said. "Someone needs to get some food in that belly."

"Alya, I don't starve."

"I'm sorry, bro. I am a woman in charge of feeding her house. I don't care how much you're eating, you are _not_ getting enough food."

"I'm healthy!"

"You're not healthy until the one feeding you says you are." Alya grinned devilishly. "And right now, that's me. So, get chopping."

Adrien blushed a little and continued moving his knife. "Yes, ma'am."

"Pfft." Satisfied now that the rest of the ingredients would be prepared by the time the octopus was ready for them, she threw the cut-up pieces into a pot and covered it and put it over the stove. "By the way, Adrien." She said, examining her spices. "I hope you don't mind a little kick. You're in _my_ house now."

He chuckled nervously. "I'm sure I'll be alright."

Alya shrugged. "Just warning you. I've met people who can't handle anything spicier than ketchup."

"Ketchup?"

She laughed at Adrien's incredulous expression. "Exactly. It's so, deeply, profoundly disappointing. Like, if freaking black peppercorn is too much for you then… what do you even eat?"

"No real food, to be sure."

"Nothing that would count as such in this house."

Adrien laughed. "Well, let's put it this way. I'm no slouch with spicy foods, but I'm also white, so take that into consideration."

Alya nodded sagely and put her hand on his shoulder. "I understand. It shouldn't be a problem. Just wanted to warn you that you're in a house that has good food."

"Hey!" He pouted a little, and then shrugged. "Well, we'll find out about that, won't we?"

"Is that a challenge, Agreste? Think my cooking isn't up to your refined palette?"

"Oh, I'm sure it is." He grinned. "But then again, I do get professionally cooked food all the time so…"

"I think you forget who you're talking to." They stared each other down. "Marinette may have the desserts, but you want your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you come to me."

"I believe it." He sighed, backing down unexpectedly. "I've always wanted to learn to cook."

Alya blinked in surprise. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Always thought it would be a handy skill to have. For when I eventually start living on my own, you know?"

Alya smiled and joined him in chopping up the last of what needed to be cut. "No plans to bring your cook with you?"

"Nah." He said. "At least for a while, I want to live more modestly. I've never lived somewhere like this before." He gestured to the rest of the apartment. "And if I'm going to be on my own, a house that big is just… no. I'd prefer somewhere cozier."

"Hmm. You'd be giving up a lot of luxuries if you plan on slumming it with the rest of us."

He shrugged. "Moments like this are the only times I see how people who aren't super rich live. There's a bit of a grass is always greener aspect to it, sure. And I do appreciate what I have. But, like, I don't want to _have_ to rely on other people for something as basic as feeding myself. I really admire that in you guys. You at least know how to survive on your own."

Alya worried her lip for a moment, then sighed. "Well, you're always welcome to come help me in the kitchen. You might even pick up a few things."

"Really?"

She looked into his shining eyes and chuckled. "Yeah, really. The twins are still too rambunctious – it's fun, don't get me wrong, but they are not good cooking partners. And I'm not my mom, but I reckon I could teach you the fundamentals."

"Your folks won't mind?"

"Pfft, no. If ever you want to try a recipe, bring it around. We'll make it together. No worries about messing up your employee's workspace, right?" She laughed. "You're bringing the ingredients, though."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Of course!"

"But, though I do fully endorse your decision to cook for yourself, why bother?" She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "You don't need to."

He looked away and blushed. "Well…" He said. "It's just… Like I said. I don't plan on living at home forever. One of these days I probably will need to."

"With that kind of money? No. You could eat out all the time, or even still just hire a cook."

He shook his head. "Oh… okay. Yeah, I guess so. Promise you won't laugh?"

"Cross my heart."

"There's just something special about this." He sighed a little dreamily. "Hanging out in the kitchen. Cooking together. It's different than having food brought to me. And… I like it. And, uh, when… if… if I have a family someday, I want to do this with them."

He smiled bashfully and rubbed his neck with an idle hand and stared at the scallions on his cutting board rather than at her. She smiled. "That's adorable." She said. She couldn't resist getting close and giving him a hug. "You're going to be the best husband a girl could ask for." Noting how his cheeks went even redder, she added, "And the best father."

"Y- you think so?"

"Know so."

"Haha, well, I hope so."

She patted his arm. "Just stay on the track you're on. You will be. Might need to learn to cook first, though. But look, we're already halfway there." With a flourish, she turned off the stove and uncovered the octopus. "Grab that strainer and fish out the octopus. Put it in this bowl here."

"What about all this water?"

"Just put the pot aside. We'll use it later."

"Understood."

He got to work as Alya double checked the herbs and spices and made sure everything was measured and ready to just throw together. "Got it?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Mhmm." He hummed.

She handed him a jar of oil. "Two tablespoons of that. In the other pot."

He did as she asked as she transferred the rest of the ingredients to the counter next to him. "Great. Then the meat." She nodded. "Mix it up, make sure it gets everywhere, then the lime, then we add all this."

"Huh. That's not too complicated."

"Nope."

They put everything together and Adrien gave her another inquisitive look. "The octopus water."

"Huh?" He frowned but dumped the water he'd set aside into the new pot. "Why separate them if we're putting them back together anyway?"

"Everything gets mixed together better this way. It'd be a lot harder to stir everything together evenly in a pot full of water."

"Oh. Okay. I get it."

She put a pepper in, smirking at Adrien's nervous expression, and gently put the lid over the pot. "Relax, dude, it's not that hot."

"I'll believe that when I taste it."

"Ha, good." She looked back at the pot. "And that just sits for forty minutes. So, we have time to do some other stuff while we're waiting."

"Forty minutes?"

"Plus ten, once we take the lid off."

"Yikes."

"I told you it takes almost an hour to cook." She smiled at him. "Seriously, though, Adrien. I'll teach you to cook if you want to learn. It's not really that complicated."

"I'll have to take you up on that." His eyes were so earnest and happy that Alya couldn't help but grin when she saw them.

"And for the record," She said, "I hope you do get that. Cooking together with a family. It is really special."

"Thank you." He said. "Making something for the people you love, with the people you love… that's got to mean more than anything, right?"

She ruffled his hair playfully. "You're not wrong."

He sighed. "Anyway. Speaking of love. How's Marinette doing on the whole train thing?"

"Weird." Alya answered truthfully. "She's definitely opened up to the idea."

He looked up at her, and she worried her lip idly. "Well," He said, "that's good, right?"

She looked tentatively at him. _How much should I say? Marinette did say this was supposed to be a date, and I guess we've already passed the line of feelings jams with the whole family cooking thing… I can't mention the challenge, but I suppose as long as he doesn't catch on that this right here is supposed to be pseudo-romantic then I'm pretty much good._

 _And honestly, it might do me good to talk about this. It's not like he doesn't know about Marinette's crush on him, anyway._ "I guess." She answered. "I'm just kind of worried about it."

"Why?"

Alya sighed. _Direct is best and bringing up the airplane is a surefire way to get him thinking about it. Do I want him thinking about it?_ She shook her head roughly, deciding to just roll with it. "Marinette told me after our fashion show that she saw the same airplane Nino did."

Adrien choked a little. His voice was strained and high-pitched. "She _what_?"

"Yeah. She asked me… well, she heavily implied that there was something going on between us. She knows I wouldn't do that, so she didn't really ask. Mostly just told me you like me."

"I- well- that is- you're great and- but-"

"Adrien, please stop talking before you hurt yourself." She smiled at his red face. "Don't even try. I'm not going to ask if there's any truth to it, nor am I going to theorize. If you do or don't, that's your business. You already know where I stand, so…" She shrugged. "But that's the thing. Marinette seemed to want me to give you a chance?"

Adrien quietly pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. "Yeah." Alya said. "Exactly. I don't get it either. Like, I get that she is giving Nino some thought, and I get that she wants us two to be happy – even if it means you're not dating her. Right? But I'm just worried that she's going Angelica Schuyler on us and is stepping back because she thinks we might work. Last thing I want is for her to settle for our sake."

"Me neither." Adrien said, similarly concerned. "Especially since you definitely don't like me that way." He said it a little self-deprecatingly, a little hurt. She could tell he tried to hide it, but Alya still winced a little.

It was too obvious that he chose to point out her lack of affection rather than his own. That worried Alya even more. "That's not the issue." She said, shaking her head. "Honestly… I don't know. I totally get why she and Nino thought that, you know? But I really don't want to think about it because if that goes in that direction, then… it'd hurt. One way or another. Get it?"

"I get it." Adrien said. "I understand the situation." He sighed. Solemn and sad and small. "I don't think Marinette is the type to settle, though. If she's opening up to Nino, I don't think it's just a fallback. Especially not with Nino."

"You're right." Alya admitted. "Love makes people crazy, though. I don't think she'd do that, but I still need to keep an eye on her."

A long pause. "And then?"

"Then, what?"

Adrien flushed and turned away. "Ha, nothing. Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Adrien." She pulled his gaze with her stern tone. "I told you I wouldn't ask, and I'm not going to. But can we both agree to be totally honest about the airplane in the room?"

He nodded silently. She sighed.

"And then," she said quietly, "if she's happy, and she still encourages that airplane being built, it's something worth considering."

Adrien laughed nervously. "Maybe I shouldn't be pulling any more shenanigans for the train, then."

That took Alya off-guard. "No?" She asked.

"No, I… I have an ulterior motive." He smiled, though his face was beet red. "Wouldn't be nice of me to do that, would it?"

"Oh, Adrien."

That was it. As good as an admission. _He likes me. Marinette and Nino were right. Goddamn it. Now I have to consider it, one way or another. There's no getting around it. It's either Marinette or him. Someone's screwed either way._

 _Best case scenario, Marinette's date tomorrow goes well. For now…_ She looked Adrien over. His reddened face, agitated posture, insistent – though manufactured – smile. Alya sighed. "Well." She said. "One thing I know for sure."

"What's that?" Adrien asked innocently.

"If the airplane does end up getting off the ground. I certainly hope Nino doesn't keep insisting we can't be trusted alone together."

Adrien snickered. "Oh, man. It'd only get worse."

"On both accounts. We'd probably get into twice as much trouble."

He laughed, and Alya smiled. Her heart wasn't quite into it, though. It was focused too much on other things. It was commandeering Marinette's daydreams. Putting Adrien in the position of doting lover and though she always knew he would be a great boyfriend, it was the first time she imagined herself as the girlfriend. _I have to let myself imagine. That was part of the deal._

But, in the moment, that thought felt dishonest. She wasn't doing it because of the deal. She was doing it because they were alone together, were cooking together, were talking about their relationship in terms of their silly inside joke even in serious conversation. She was doing it because he made her laugh like no one else did, because he was brave and adventurous like her, and he was bright and creative and cheerful, and because she loved being around him.

 _Yeah…_ She thought. _You win, Marinette._


	6. Chapter 6

Marinette was kind enough not to mention Alya's date until after her own was over, which gave Alya almost a whole day to herself to mull it all over. And Alya appreciated it, though it didn't really _help_ her in any way.

Because sure, she needed time to think about her next move. But that only came along with a long conversation with Marinette at least. Sure, she was supposed to be considering her real feelings about Adrien and the situation. But really, none of that was even confusing or needed sorting out. Alya knew exactly how she felt. She knew that spark at least enough to recognize it. She knew better than to ignore her own feelings and she wasn't so much of a hypocrite as to not do anything at all about them.

She liked Adrien. Or could like him, in any case. If that was the path she chose to walk. She wasn't quite infatuated with him. She didn't like him in the crushing way Marinette had, and probably not even the way Adrien liked her. She just liked him. She liked him, and she liked being around him, and if she wanted to take that step it wouldn't be too hard to love him.

Well, that is to say, it wouldn't be hard at all.

Because she did love him, just not romantically yet. All it would take is to shift the paradigm a little, and that love would be through a different lens. And no, that wasn't always an easy task. But she felt in her heart that with Adrien, it would be. With Adrien, she was already halfway there. She'd already replaced the lens, but she was too hesitant to open her eyes and look until she knew it was safe.

And none of that was ambiguous to her. She knew it with certainty since the close of her date, if not long before. And because of that, she had little to ponder over that slow day.

Her next action depended entirely on her best friend. Not what Marinette would say – Alya didn't trust Marinette not to hide her own hurt for Alya's sake – but on what Marinette did. On how her date with Nino went.

If it went well, and Marinette truly decided to pursue a different path in her life, Alya may be able to step onto that one that her best friend had begun to pave. Not with certainty, there were still other things to consider, of course, but she might.

That was, in Alya's opinion, the best-case scenario. Not because of her own feelings on the matter, though she had to admit she hoped for that outcome for her own sake, but because of Adrien's near admission to her of his own place in it all. She knew now, beyond a reasonable doubt, that Adrien hoped for and looked forward to that particular path. The one in which she was free to allow herself to love him in the same way he had come to love her. It was his ulterior motive. His selfish reason for wanting Nino and Marinette together.

And Alya didn't want to hurt him. First and foremost, because he was her friend. But also, because she _did_ like him, a little, that way. She could requite his feelings and make him happy and she knew she would do everything she could to make him happy and she knew he would do the same for her. It would work.

But even still, to Alya, Marinette came first. She would much sooner hurt Adrien through inaction than thrust the blade that harmed Marinette. The latter, as far as Alya was concerned, simply would not happen. If the former was necessary to ensure it didn't, then that was something she could live with.

 _It's cute and infuriating both how understanding Adrien is about the situation. That's exactly what I would expect from him, and yet… it feels like he's letting me off easy._

 _I guess love does that to people._

It was a slow, meandering day as Alya waited in confused excitement for Marinette to go on her date with Nino. And it was a quick, rushed morning the day after – a day that reflected the erratic insides of Alya's heart.

But with the boys ever-present that day (Alya figured their dates had enamored the boys to them, as Adrien had hung out with her during Marinette's date as well, seemingly unwilling to part with her for long – she tried not to read into anything, on Adrien or Nino's side), it wasn't until the afternoon that Alya and Marinette had the chance to talk over Marinette's master plan.

But the time came, when school was out and they locked arms and turned down the boys' offer to hang out with sly, knowing, teasing smiles, and the two locked themselves away in Marinette's room.

"So," Alya said eagerly, "how'd it go?"

Marinette blushed a brilliant scarlet, and Alya grinned. "I…" Marinette said. "Okay, full disclosure. I may have accidentally said too much."

"Said too much?" Alya asked. "What do you mean? What'd you do?"

"I might have mentioned that it was supposed to be a date."

"Holy shit."

Marinette chuckled nervously. "Yeah. I know it was my idea and all, but… it just came out."

"What'd he say? What'd he do?" Alya took her by the shoulders. "Tell me what happened!"

"Haha, alright, alright." Marinette pried Alya from her shoulders and shifted in her seat to get more comfortable. "Gather 'round, children. It's storytime."

Alya giggled and got comfortable and listened as Marinette began telling the story of the previous day.

Marinette talked first about how her voice wavered when she first talked to Nino that day. She mentioned how her stomach flipped and spun itself into knots in an all too familiar expression she was completely unaccustomed to having happen around Nino. It wasn't as severe as the height of her infatuation with Adrien (but, what could be, anyway?) but was unmistakable nonetheless.

And yet it was not Nino himself that inspired such reactions in her, but the knowledge of it being a date. And in fact, she took them not as a ward, but as encouragement. Because the nerves, the dancing of her stomach, were a testament to how much she wanted the date to go well. And that was what got her really thinking, she _did_ want it to go well. And she thought of _why_ she wanted it to go well.

And she realized much the same thing that Alya had, though Alya had yet to voice it. "It's so different than with Adrien, though." Marinette said. "It's like, I'm not really nervous around him. I'm just nervous of the room, you know? The situation. I'm not scared of him like I was Adrien, because I think I've already gotten past the point of being nervous about that.

"I think you and Adrien were right. I already know how to talk to him, so it wasn't a big deal to do more of that. With Adrien, I never learned. So, even when we did become friends, I never really figured out how to talk to him without feeling embarrassed. I never feel embarrassed with Nino." She frowned suddenly, a distinctly unamused expression crossing her face. "Well, most of the time. But it's not even close to the same thing."

Alya was mildly alarmed when Marinette mentioned that Adrien's encouragement of the pair was something she thought about, but Alya saw no reason to believe that it made the rest of Marinette's speech less valid.

Like with Alya, there was little infatuation there. That made Alya smile. Too often, in her opinion, it was "the heart wants what it wants" and "I can't help loving them" and similar sayings. It existed, sure, that burning attraction, that animal magnetism that drew people together. She wouldn't even discount its part in setting up successful couples. But it was her firmly held belief, especially after watching the disaster that was Marinette's crush on Adrien, that infatuation – the word she chose to ascribe to that nebulous desire bringing people together – was unimportant at least in a real relationship. It may be the trigger, and it may be the lens which tilted their perceptions towards romance, but it wouldn't last. What lasted was the choice to continue loving someone.

If Marinette chose Nino, so long as it was her own choice and not made for another's sake, Alya believed she was well on the way to a strong and stable relationship. Boys' side notwithstanding, of course. _Though, knowing those two, no matter what it is now, they'll choose to love us if that's the way we go._

"So," Alya said, not bothering to recount her own tale just yet though Marinette had exhausted her own, "what're you going to do? What's your next step?"

Marinette giggled. "Well, I already spilled the beans about it being a date. Nino already has that idea in his head."

"So?"

"So, maybe a few more are in order. Hm?"

Marinette smiled cheekily and Alya grinned. "Nino's going to be happy about that."

"You can say that again. Gosh, I wish you could have seen his face after I told him!"

"I can imagine! He must have been over the moon!"

She giggled some more. "I know nothing's really panned out just yet, but still, I should thank you. You and Adrien are the reason I have him a chance, so… thanks. I really think this might go somewhere."

Alya hugged her close, a little too tightly. "Don't mention it, girl. I'm just happy for you."

Marinette snickered impishly. "Happy for both of us, right? This means Adrien's back on the market."

Alya chuckled and shook her head. "Give it some time, girl."

"Speaking of, how'd your date go?"

"You mean, aside from both of us basically admitting how we feel about each other?" Alya hummed nonchalantly as Marinette exclaimed something unintelligible. "Well, I accidentally tricked him into thinking we were going to put Chat Noir in a stew, so that was fun."

Marinette narrowed her eyes. " _Accidentally_."

"Yes, accidentally! It's not my fault you people don't use ' _chatrou_ '."

"Ah." Marinette nodded sagely. "And that led to a veritable feast of puns, didn't it?"

"You know it."

"Well, now I'm jealous."

Alya laughed and shoved her gently. "But really, it wasn't anything compared to your date. We talked a little while we waited for it to cook – about you and Nino and about us – and then it was basically like any other hang out. With slightly more self-control." She shrugged. "Don't keep an eye out. I _promise_ , we didn't plan anything."

"Mhmm." Marinette hummed doubtfully.

"Really." Alya winked. "Nothing at _all_."

"Well," Marinette said, "since you _obviously_ aren't planning any shenanigans, tell me about your chat."

"It wasn't much, really. He asked about you and Nino. I told him you were opening up to it. Mentioned you were being weirdly insistent about _me_ and Adrien."

"You're the one always telling me to act on my feelings."

"I didn't like him, though! Romantically."

"Past tense?"

Marinette's proud smirk made Alya blush and huff a little. "Look, you're the one who made me think about it. Now it's just…" She shrugged. "I could. Would like to, even, if the situation allows."

Marinette laughed. " _This_ situation," She said, with a thumb pointed at herself, "is _telling_ you."

Alya rolled her eyes. "Alright, I get it. I'll believe you. I'll ask him out if you ask out your man."

"Alright. I'll pick up that gauntlet."

Alya smirked. "Really? Good. If you can ask out Nino, I'll have no other choice but to believe you're honestly over Adrien. Then, and only then, will I make a move. Deal?"

Marinette smiled, kindly, not the competitive one Alya had expected. "I understand. If that's what it takes, it'll be just the push I need."

"You sure you're capable of it? I can't even count the number of times you totally messed up asking Adrien out."

"Nino isn't Adrien." Marinette said confidently. "I can do it."

"Alright then. I'm looking forward to this."

* * *

The problem with her bet, Alya discovered, was that when Marinette did follow through, Alya herself would need to figure out just _how_ to ask out Adrien. It wasn't so much the asking that was the problem. She already knew he liked her – beyond a reasonable doubt, at least. And she liked him. She chose to love him for this chapter of their lives at the very least. (Though she admitted to herself, while she had no grand dreams of her teenage boyfriend being The One and spending the whole rest of her life with him, if he kept on being the same person he was, then she really would be happy if that fantasy came to pass. It'd make things simpler, if nothing else, to marry her teenage sweetheart. And as she said on her pseudo date with him, he would make a wonderful husband. She tried not to think about that kind of thing, as she was perfectly aware they were still young and growing, but Adrien and family just seemed too great a match, and somewhere in her breast she hoped that it happened. With her, or not, she had the wherewithal to not settle on.) And she knew she'd love him one way or another for as long as she could.

The problem, then, was just how to do it in a way that both of them would remember. Because really, they wouldn't be them if they didn't add a little bit of their own flair to it.

And, weirdly, for once Alya was shut out from Marinette's heart's affairs. Well, not quite shut out, but she certainly wasn't let in on how and when Marinette planned on doing the deed.

And when it happened, and Alya was forced to uphold her end of the bargain, she found that it was much more difficult than she initially thought.

By the time Marinette finally followed through on her end, Alya had resolved not to put too much effort into her own part. After all, asking someone out was not the best place for the usual shenanigans that followed her and Adrien. She figured she could keep it casual, and just follow up on what they both knew and admitted to seeing.

And yet, when Marinette texted her the news and all the uproar died down, things didn't quite end up how they were supposed to.

It was in class that Alya first tried to ask out Adrien. The very day following Marinette's text. Marinette walked into class, hand in hand with Nino, and they whispered something cute that got the class talking and everyone was raucously excited for them.

But once the initial festivities died down, Alya met Adrien's gaze and they shared a smile, proud and satisfied and happy, and she said, "So, Marinette and Nino, huh?"

Adrien laughed. "The train pulls out of the station. Choo, choo."

She giggled. "Yeah. You know, maybe we should think about doing something like that."

And Adrien froze in place, too stunned for a moment even to blush. Marinette gawked at her, as did Chloé. Though Alya was speaking to Adrien, she didn't bother lowering her voice and apparently, that warranted the entire class' full attention.

And then everything started to move at once. Adrien blushed deep crimson and ducked his head with a small squeak. Chloé and Rose shrieked for entirely opposite reasons. Marinette hit Alya's shoulder playfully. Alya laughed at the scene she had caused.

But though she had been serious, no one, including Adrien, seemed to take her entirely so. Chloé had to stake her claim, of course, and was clinging to Adrien for a while afterwards, but everyone else seemed to laugh it off. Only Marinette and Nino's meaningful looks convinced her that she wasn't _totally_ hopeless.

 _It probably says something about me that everyone is so quick to laugh that off as casual flirting. Have I really flirted that much with Adrien that no one bats an eye? Or maybe I just do with other people enough that it's not weird now that Marinette has a boyfriend. Hmm…_

"Alya, oh my god." Marinette whispered harshly.

"What?" She asked. "I wasn't even joking, then!"

" _I_ know that, but no one else does! But even I didn't expect you to do it five seconds after me!"

"What? That was the deal. That was the whole point. You asked out Nino, so I ask Adrien out."

"Oh my god."

"What?"

"You could have actually done it properly, you know."

"Where's the fun in that?" Alya laughed. "Though for real, that just kind of slipped out."

"You're hopeless."

"Hah, _you_ say."

"You _have_ to know by now that he's never going to pick up on it unless you're super explicit. Remember my many attempts?"

Alya cackled in response.

"Hey!" Marinette hit her arm. "It's not funny."

"Sorry, girl. You have a boyfriend now, so it is. And it's even _funnier_ because that boyfriend _isn't_ Adrien!"

"Ugh! That's not the point right now! We can laugh at my humiliating failure later fir-"

"Oh, promise?"

"Alya!" Alya had to shield herself from Marinette's half-hearted battering. She couldn't stop laughing, but as Marinette was in a similar state herself, Alya didn't feel bad about her comment.

Marinette huffed and crossed her arms and whispered with the best imitation of anger she could muster under her laughter. "Be serious!" She said. "There was a point!"

"I know, girl. I know. The boy'll always assume you mean something different." Alya patted her best friend on the shoulder. "But I think it was pretty explicit."

"No, it was flirting. Heavy flirting, admittedly, but still flirting. You need to be serious when you ask him, else he'll think you're joking."

Alya shook her head. "Relax, Marinette. I've got this handled. Don't assume this was the plan." She winked at her and spun her pen in her hand. "I've got more up my sleeve."

* * *

The next approach was more traditional. Alya was giggling with Adrien when Nino attempted to use his little bottle of hand sanitizer and realized his mistake.

Honestly, it was equally hilarious just how unsurprised Nino was. He just sighed and turned back to look at them and raised his brow and said, "Why?"

"Geez, Nino," Adrien said, "I'm sensing a little friction here. Maybe you need some more."

Nino shook his head and his hand, trying to get the lubricant off as much as possible.

"Come on, dude," Alya said, "you have to admit that was slick."

"This is why we don't let you two hang alone, you know."

Alya shared a look with Adrien and laughed. "Aw, that's a shame." She said. "Because I'd love to spend more time alone with him."

Nino gave them both the most exasperated look while Adrien blushed. "I…" Nino said. "You know what? Nah. I'm out. Later."

Alya waggled her eyebrows a little, and Adrien turned even redder. "We should probably, um…" Adrien said, "follow him."

"Why?" Alya said. "I got us alone, didn't I?"

"You… did that on purpose?" Adrien furrowed his brow and pursed his lips and Alya just had to laugh at how cute the expression was.

"Duh. Things like this aren't supposed to have an audience."

He took a hesitant step back. "Things like… what?"

She smirked and stalked toward him. _I can't tell if he's terrified or hopeful._ "Pfft, what do you think? Remember when you came over and we cooked together?" She took his arm and walked with him across the courtyard. He followed her complacently, like he had no will to oppose her.

"Of course."

"And the talk we had about the airplane?"

He bit his lip and glanced away, blushing all the while. "Y-yeah."

"Well?"

"Well…"

She was trying to lead him into having the idea himself. Lead him into realizing that it _was_ "and then" and that the airplane was now something she was willing to examine. She was _trying_ to have a serious conversation, like Marinette had suggested. But then, of course, she probably should have planned to do it somewhere other than at school.

"Adrikins!"

Chloé all but tackled him, wresting his and Alya's interlocked arms apart. "Ah, Chloé…" Adrien said a little glumly.

"Come on Adrien, you simply _have_ to see this new mascara I bought. Sabrina! Oh, where'd she go? Come on, she has it. You _need_ to see it."

Adrien resisted her pull to look at Alya. Alya smiled and shrugged. He didn't seem willing to let their conversation get thrown away. "Hang on a sec, Chloé." He said to her before looking back at Alya. "Can we… can we talk about that plane now?"

Alya laughed. "That's what I was trying to do."

"I-"

"Adrien, come on! I don't like to be kept waiting! And what's this plane you're muttering about? Are you going on a trip? Certainly not with _her_!"

He shook his head and sighed. "Alya… promise we'll talk about it later? Text me a time, alright?"

"What _are_ you talking about?"

For his sake, since he didn't seem in the right state of mind to be thinking on the fly, Alya made the excuse for him. "Just a plan we have, is all. 'Airplane' is its codename." She winked at Adrien, and chuckled when his face flushed. "You know what we get up to together."

The excuse would never fool a bigger person. The way Adrien was talking about it was reverent, careful, scared, serious, not at all the kind of humor and japery that the implied shenanigans would bring. And there was the fact that Adrien made it seem they had avoided talking about it (which Alya suspected he definitely did, despite her flirty efforts – probably he was still nervous because he didn't know how long was appropriate to wait after the Ninette train had departed) and they would have no reason to put off talking about a prank except for having people who might snitch around. But Alya knew that a conversation about a prank was what Chloé wanted to hear. So, there was little chance of her questioning the excuse.

Adrien worried his lip and reluctantly allowed himself to be dragged away.

* * *

She texted him later that very same day, and he was either so anxious or so eager for it that he responded almost immediately and confirmed that no, he had no plans and that yes, he'd love to come over and that yes, he's already on his way, he'll be there in twenty minutes, promise.

Alya shook her head fondly at the phone and made sure to inform him that they'd have to go out or wait a while longer to talk, since her sisters would surely never leave them alone long enough for the conversation they were looking forward to.

She grinned when he agreed to just wait at her place, the temptation of dinner with the Césaires apparently too great to resist.

She made a snide comment about that when she handed him his plate.

"What?" He said with a grin, "And miss out on the chance of getting some _real food_? Never."

Alya nodded approvingly, chuckling when she saw her mother do the same, much more subtly. "Now you're getting it." She said.

Thankfully, both her parents already knew Adrien, so this wasn't any great affair. They all chatted casually, Adrien and Alya cracking jokes or making puns or quoting Shakespeare every chance they got, her parents laughing along. Her sisters were allowed to watch television as they ate, so they weren't at the table (really, Alya and her parents were mostly because of their guest), but they still popped in from time to time to cause trouble, which Adrien would inevitably laugh at, which would inevitably encourage them.

Alya didn't need her talk with Adrien about how special it was to cook with family to know how special this moment, this dinner with a bunch of people who loved each other and loved him, was to him. She could see it in the way his eyes glittered, in the ear-to-ear grin permanently on his face, in the ecstatic tone of his voice.

But soon enough, they had leave to bunker down in Alya's room and talk. Adrien looked wistfully at the door. "I really like this." He admitted. "I wish I could come over for dinner more often."

"Then come over more often." Alya said, nudging him. "We love you, here."

His cheeks turned red and he looked down, and then he finally brought up the topic they were waiting so long to discuss. "Speaking of… the airplane."

Alya smiled. "Us."

"Yeah. I… I wasn't sure when it would be okay to talk about it. I know Marinette and Nino are still new and…"

"Adrien, it's fine. We can talk about it now. That's all that matters, right?"

He smiled hesitantly, looking up at her with big eyes. "Yeah. So…"

"So, you like me." Alya said.

"I- well… yeah." His voice was small, tiny, the way his posture tried to make him.

"And," Alya said, "I like you."

His head shot up so he could stare properly at her. His mouth hung agape. Alya laughed. "You… you do?" He asked.

"Yeah, dude. Didn't I basically say that way back when?"

"No. You just said you'd think about it, and you said you thought it was possible. That's why I'd been hoping, but…"

She pursed her lips and hummed. "Well, I'm saying it now. I wasn't joking, back in class, you know. When Marinette and Nino got together. We should probably think about doing something like that."

His eyes were all wonder and nervous disbelief. "You mean it? You actually want to…"

"If you're down." She said. "I was thinking, ever since I decided on this, about how to ask you. You know, what I should reference, what scene to go into, but you know what? None of that. I know it's not really our thing, but I thought this should be our own words. Our own moment. Not a copied one. References are great and all, but I was thinking, what if we make something we can reference ourselves?"

He smiled tentatively. "Aha. I don't think I'd remember any of our references right now. I'm kind of still in shock."

She giggled. "Of course, you are." With a shake of her head, she reached up to hold his head in her hands. She felt his hair on her fingers and she pulled him close as she leaned in herself. "Listen to me, then." She wasn't sure why, but she wanted this moment to be from her own tongue, her own lips, her own heart. No matter how fervently she related to them and how perfectly they conveyed her meaning, she didn't want the words of long-dead authors to permeate the moment. That moment was hers and Adrien's, no matter how imperfect their eloquence.

She took a deep breath. "Adrien Agreste, will you go out with me?"

"You have to ask?"

She chuckled. _Not really._ "It's been so weird recently, and I'm sorry I put you through that. But I know you know I had to be sure. Not about how I feel – that was never in question – about how Marinette did."

"I know." He whispered. "Don't worry about me. That whole thing is part of why I admire you so much. I'm just glad it did work out."

"Me too." She took a moment to examine him, his glowing expression, his open demeanor, everything screaming his feelings without words. "I just hope you also understand that none of that about you. If the situation had been different, we'd have been here a long time ago."

Adrien chuckled giddily. "How long ago?"

"Impossible to say." She smirked. "No telling how fast I would've fell for you if I'd thought that way back then."

"Haha, well, maybe around the time we put on that fashion show? Honestly, I get what you mean. That was when I first really thought about it." He worried his lip for a moment, and then added, "Though I think I'd been falling for a while before that, and just didn't notice."

"Hey, me too. Guess we were in the same boat after all."

"More like same train."

They both snickered quietly. Alya finally released her hold on him, but he didn't back away. Boldly, he got closer. He moved a little and slotted his head next to hers and he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "If the train was why we're here now," Alya said, "I have a feeling that we're going to owe those two more than they'll ever know."

Adrien laughed weakly but held her tighter. "If that train got me here, I already do."


End file.
